A LADY'S Limitations 

A PLAY IN THREE ACTS 
and ONE SCENE 



All Rights 'Keser'ved 



Copyright, 1910 

by 

George L Raymond, 

810 N St. Washington, D. C. 






.L3 



Pj«?SS O, BYRON 3. ADAMS WASH,. 0, C, 



CCLD 21272 



Characters 

Stirling— Private in a Militia Company in the First and Second 

Acts, and Lieutenant in the same in the Third Act. 
Captain of the same Militia Company. 
Sergeant — Ditto. 
Corporal — Ditto. 

Charlie — Private of the same Militia Company. 
Dick— Ditto. 

Mr. Marr — Husband of Mrs. Marr. 
Professor Allick — Friend of Mrs. Marr. 
Mrs. Marr— Mayor of the City. 
Florence — Daughter of Mrs. Marr. 
Mrs. Housman — Sister of Mr. Marr. 
Other Ladies and Militiamen. 



Plot 

Act. L — In a camp of militiamen who have been assembled to defend 
certain mines from attack by workmen who have started a strike, 
the Captain argues against, and Stirling argues for, the exercise 
of suffrage by the women. They are expecting a visit from Mrs. 
Marr, the Mayor of their city — Stirling lies down in a hammock 
to take a nap before her arrival, and dreams of her visit, the 
details of which are colored by the remembered arguments of 
the Captain — Mrs. Marr appears, and criticizes the fact that they 
do not receive her in full uniform, and with due honors — After 
various comments, and arguments on the part of Mr. Marr, Mrs. 
Housman, Florence and the Professor who accompany her, 
Mrs. Marr, requests the Captain to break up a lawful strikers' 
meeting, and to let her inspect the camp — Against the first he argues 
on the ground of expediency and, against the second, refers to a 
law forbidding the presence of women in the camp after a cer- 
tain evening hour — She persists, however, and, happening to 
come, unaccompanied by the Captain, upon the Sergeant and 
Privates playing cards and drinking beer, she is arrested, and 
sent to the guard-house. 



Act IL— Mrs. Housman and Florence, trying to get Mrs. Marr re- 
leased from the guard-house, come upon Stirling — He introduces 
them to the Sergeant and Privates — Upon Mrs. Housman's sug- 
gestion that Florence must not offend her mother's constituents, 
the latter accepts an invitation to sit at a table with soldiers 
who are drinking and smoking — Stirling resents her action, and 
the two quarrel — Later, Mrs. Marr, who has been released, and 
attributes her arrest to the beer that the soldiers have been 
drinking, recalls a law prohibiting the use of beer and cards 
in the public park in which the encampment happens to be situ- 
ated — The Captain answers her by referring to the canteen 
allowable in all military encampments — While arguing, they 
approach the Sergeant and Privates, who are playing cards and 
drinking — These hide behind the tents — Mrs. Marr smells their 
beer, and recalls the table at which they were sitting when she 
was arrested — She insists upon searching the tents near by, in 
order to find the beer-keg — While inside one of the tents, Mr. 
Marr appears — Partly to implicate him, and, partly to save the 
keg — which is in the other tent — the soldiers persuade Mr. Marr 
to help them roll it away — While doing so, Mrs. Marr reappears — 
The soldiers run away, and Mr. Marr is left alone with keg, — 
the only criminal that Mrs. Marr discovers. 

Act III. — By order of Mrs. Marr, the ladies visiting the camp 
are dressed in blue gymnasium suits, so as to prevent the strikers 
from recognizing them to be women, and to make them seem 
additional soldiers reinforcing the camp — Mrs. Marr intro- 
duces tea, candy, and a social function in place of beer, cigars, 
and card-playing — The Captain, who has opposed her desire 
to break up the strikers' meeting and to banish the beer, 
has been sent away by her on a pretended diplomatic errand to 
the Govenor — As a natural result, whiskey is privily circu- 
lated in the camp, soldiers get drunk, and Mrs. Marr tries in 
meffectual ways to discover who brought the whiskey — The 
strikers set out for the mines and, as a fight becomes unavoid- 
able, the women fly for their homes — The first shot of the en- 
gagement wakes Stirling, who jumps up to welcome Mrs. Marr, 
Florence and the others, as they appear in real life. 



A Lady's Limitations 

Act I. — Scene: This play is supposed to represent occurrences in 
a single late afternoon and early twilight. The scene, which is 
the same throughout the play, is an encampment ground for 
militia in an uncultivated part of a park in a western city of 
the United States. The city, as has occasionally occurred in that 
region, has chosen as Mayor one of its society ladies. At the right 
and left of the stage are trees. Trees also in connection with dis- 
tant tents, perhaps, are painted on the back curtain. On either 
side of the back center is an army tent. The entrances of the two 
tents face the wings, and, of course, face away from each other. 
Between the tents is a space twenty or thirty feet wide. In this 
space is a rough army table, and about the table are five chairs. 
Behind this table and behind the tents, the actors can pass. They 
can also pass in and out of the two tents through their entrances. 
Inside the left tent, but not seen till brought out in the second act, 
is a beer keg. At the left of the left tent, szvung between trees, is 
a hammock. Entrances, through trees, Right Second and Right 
Upper, and Left Second and Left Upper. 

The curtain rising discloses the Captain and Stirling seated at 
the table. They wear military trousers, but are in shirt-sleeves. 
They may be smoking, and are, apparently, looking over papers 
or letters. 

Captain. What are you thinking of? 

Stirling. The coming girls. And you? 

Captain. The coming strikers. 

Stirling. Humph! The first are coming to invade us from 
within, the others from without. 

Captain. Precisely, yes. We seem between two fires, a situation 
that brings its dangers now, and probably will bring more 
danger in the future. 

Stirling. How ? 

Captain. The strikers' threats are aimed against our bodies; the 
women's are against our brains. 

Stirling. Ours, Captain? 

Captain. The brains they want to use are ours, not theirs. There 
are a thousand things that life has need of that only women 
have the brains to bring it — the comforts of the home, its furnish- 
ings, its food, the training of the children there, the tempering 
of the household atmosphere to be congenial to the neighbors' 



6 A Lady's Limitations 

households. Let men control in business; only women can rule 
the social circle. Man may make a fortune, but it is the woman 
makes the fortune fortunate in furthering friendship. 

Stirling. What furthers that might help at voting-places. 

Captain. Not friendship fostered by society. The sea of life is 
filled with counties drops, but only those that rise and float the 
surface where dancing spray leaps flashing into sunlight can con- 
stitute society. Its life is never o/ the many, but the few ; and 
these its influence mainly weans away from common sympathy 
with common people; — makes even men hold back from contact 
with these and much more women. Why should they, forsooth, 
rub robes, touch hands, with dirt and soil? 

Stirling. Because they need — and just as men need — to protect 
their interests. 

Captain. Some of them, of course, may need it — wage-earners, prop- 
erty-holders, others too. All rules may have exceptions; but 
they never are rules that should apply to every case, if they be 
merely meant to fit exceptions. In buying regimental uniforms, we 
order suits to fit the average man, not some exceptional giant. 

Stirling. As a rule, conclusions that are wisest are results of 
widest consultation. If so, wom.en should be allowed their con- 
tribution. 

Captain. That is not the question. What we want to know is how 
most wisely to obtain the thought that comes from women. It 
may not be true that suffrage is the only, or the best way. One 
half the energy now spent in pushing for theoretic suffrage might 
bring women the practical results of laws they need; nor could 
obtaining suffrage do without the energy that needs expending 
now. For years, I lived in Washington, a place where no one 
votes; and did I want to vote? Not I. Why not? I felt my 
rights more safe entrusted to representatives of others than of 
those, myself included, who would have formed the voting popu- 
lation. The principle applies to all our suffrage. Subtract the 
women well versed and refined, who find the polls distasteful; 
then add up the numbers, just the opposite, of women inclined to 
move in flocks, with feeling swayed as party-friend or foe may 
urge or force, and what would follow? — You would lessen vastly 
what now is much too small here, — the proportion of well- 
informed and independent voters. You think it wise to risk re- 
sults like that? 

Stirling. Yet, if it be a fact that all the people should make the 
laws, the women own the right to share in making them. 

Captain. Where did you learn that all the people make the laws ; or 
that the women have no share in making them? All the laws, I 
know, are made by legislators, or congressmen, who represent the 
people, Nor do they represent the thought*^ alone of men who 



A Lady's Limitations 7 

vote, but public sentiment, including thoughts of mothers, daugh- 
ters, wives, impressed in home, school, church, society, on men 
whose mterests are the same as theirs, and, touched upon their 
sympathetic side, will be more loyal than if voted for. 
Stirling. Suppose the women cease to trust the men? 
Captain. Suppose they go to hell. They will go there no sooner if 
they lose their faith in man than if they lose it in divinity. In 
one regard the Morman theory is right— though it applies to 
both the sexes— when faith in man is gone, all chance is gone of 
bemg saved oneself, or saving others. 
Stirling. And yet a woman's influence— 

Captain. Should touch the family first, and then, through it the 
state. Our families form the social order's units, and they must 
vote as units, or else lose their unity, and, with it, certain rights of 
sex protected both by law and custom. If so, the men who never 
seem too old to mate with women would lose less than women 
who never seem too young to mate with men. 
Stirling. The more fools they! 

Captain. Oh, no ; they merely yield to laws of nature that give wives 
their way, not through demanding but desiring, while, like will- 
mg slaves, men wait on their desiring. You know I think that only 
when some woman becomes to him a source of love can man, on 
his part, represent true love's effects. When I was young, men 
had more courtesy than now. None helped themselves to any- 
thing before they helped the women; talked when they were 
talking, or sat down when they were standing; or failed to be 
their champion, if their lives or honor needed. All too had been 
caused by men's, not women's, ruling. Is it so to-day? I fear 
not. When the men had proved so deferential both in court and 
home, to all her claims for property or person, the woman cried 
for more— for woman's rights, she termed it, but she meant for 
woman's rule. Whoever wants the suffrage wants to rule. This 
is a want against a woman's nature; and men, whatever they 
may say or do, can never grant it. 
Stirling. Why? 

Captain. Against a law of their man's nature. When our southern 
slaves, not educated, not experienced, were given votes, — in some 
states could outvote the white,— what then? Were laws they 
made obeyed? Did suffrage really better the conditions? It 
brought on slight and strife that made them worse until the 
laws were changed, or else ignored. In former times, men using 
spears or blades, agreed to settle their disputes in peace bv using 
ballots; and, from then till now, laws made by ballot can com- 
mand respect in the degree alone in which the hand that casts 
the ballot wields the force to back it. Suppose the women's vote 



8 A Lady's Limitations 

should pass a law that most men thought unjust, would men re- 
gard it? Suppose the women's vote should bring on war — when 
threatened they are not as cool as men— would men give up a 
right to their own lives to serve what women claimed to be their 
rights? and do you think that disregard for law, disloyalty to 
rulers, could result in anything except in anarchy and revolution, 
and in making people lose faith in having all the people rule them? 
If not, to strive for so-called woman's rights is to imperil thus 
the rights of all; and so, this modern restlessness of women to 
break through God and nature's limitations may teach, once more, 
whatever truth there was in that old story of what Eve brought 
Eden. 

Stirling. Your revolution might not go so far, — might but take 
back the suffrage from the women. 

Captain. And take it forcibly; and using force with women never 
keeps men gentlemen. The logical result of such a strife would 
lock the women up again in harems. Perhaps the good Lord 
sent the Mormans to us to train our modern thought in that 
direction. 

Stirling. What time is it? 

Captain {looking at his watch). Is nearly seven o'clock. 

Stirling. They come at eight, and I was up all night. I want to 
take a nap before they get here, {he lies down in the hammock). 

Captain {continuing to talk to Stirling). It seems to me that 
nothing can be right that makes one interfere with other's rights. 
Take Lawyer Marr now; he should have a right, like any other 
man, to have a wife, but Mrs. Marr has been elected Mayor. What 
can he do about it? Two things only, and not make too much 
scandal,— kill the Mayor and wed again, or turn polygamist. 
Asleep already? {looking at Stirling in the hammock), not a 
bad idea! 

Exit — Left Second — Captain. 

Enter — Right Upper — Mrs. Marr, Mrs. Housman, Florence, Pro- 
fessor Allick, and Mr. Marr. 

Mrs. Marr {looking about with dissatisfaction). And no one to 
receive us? 

Profesor {bozuing obsequiously, as he is constantly doing to Mrs. 
Marr). This is wrong. 

Stirling {rising, and getting out of the hammock with his hair in 
disorder). Have come already? Pardon me. How do 3'-ou do? 

Mrs. Marr {regarding his appearance with disfavor). Your cap- 
tain is not here? 

Stirling. Oh, yes {calling and looking to Left). Say* Captain. 

Enter — Left Second — Captain still in shirt sleeves. 



A Lady's Limitations 9 

(Stirling talks aside with Florence.) 

Captain {to the Visitors). Am glad to see you. 

Mrs. Marr (sarcastically). Are you? 

Captain (drazving back and saluting). Pardon me. 

Mrs. Marr. You knew that we were coming, did you not? 

Captain. But not so soon. 

Mrs. Marr. The strikers might appear, too. 

Captain. Oh, we have guards out all around the camp. You 
passed them, did you not? 

Mrs. Marr (looking up and down, in evident disgust at his dis- 
abille). But you yourself? 

Captain (looking at his shirt sleeves). Quite true! It might have 
taken me a minute.— We were expecting you to be announced. 

Mrs. Marr (to the Professor). The unexpected usually makes the 
best mspector, eh. Professor? (To the Captain). There were rea- 
sons for my coming earlier. 

Captain. Some trouble? 

Mrs. Marr. I was hissed when passing by the hall. 

Captain. What hall? 

Mrs. Marr. Hall where the strikers hold their meetings 

Captain. Sorry to hear that! 

Mrs. Marr. You are? No more? When we return we must go 
by that hall again. Before the time for that, I want you to send 
down, and close their meeting. 

Captain. They have a legal right to meet together. We ought to 
keep from usmg force 'till they provoke it. 

Mrs. Marr (placing her hand on her ozvn breast). But they have 
provoked it. 

Captain (hesitatingly). Yes— I meant more seriously, as if in 
marching against the mines, destroying property — 

Mrs. Marr. You seem afraid to stop their meeting. 

Captain. Yes ; I am afraid that it might not be lawful, or possible. 
A few might keep a crowd from entering a hall, but, once inside, 
could scarcely get them out without some bloodshed. 

Mrs. Marr (sarcastically). You think so, and are not prepared 
for that? What are you then prepared for? We must see. When 
you are dressed for it, perhaps we can. 

Captain. I hope things here will meet your approbation (handling 
the chairs, or motioning toward iheni). Will you sit down? (to 
all as he gestures toward Stirling). Excuse us for a moment 
(^/ide to Stirling). Must go, and put our toggery on now, 
Stirlmg. We should have worn it all the da}^ while waiting! 
Only a Turkish bath can fit a man to welcome one so sacred in 
her person. She ought to have an oriental temple. 

Exeunt— Left Second— CAFTAm and Stirling. 



10 A Lady's Limitations 

Mrs. Mark, Mrs. Housman and Florence take seats. 

Mrs. Housman. 1 thought we came here on a sort of picnic. Men 
need not dress for picnics, need they? 

Mrs. Marr. Not if they be common men with common women. 

Professor. But if he be a captain, and she mayor, he should be 
taught his place. 

P'lorence. Ah, so Professor ? Just like a school then ! 

Mrs. Marr. Florence, you forget. 

Florence. Why, mama, I like schools ; and, like as not, shall teach 
myself. 

Mrs. Marr. And when you teach yourself, may you teach better, 
Florence, than the teachers that have taught you. {To the Pro- 
fessor). Those Eastern institutions have not a single course 
where girls can learn about their civic duties. 

Professor {zvith great disparagement) . I have heard so. 

Mrs. Housman. The trouble is, so many girls in college look for- 
ward onl)^ to becoming women. 

Professor. That is the vice of eastern education (sarcastically). 
The girls are taught to think they must be ladies. 

Mr. Marr. And you would teach them to be gentlemen? 

Mrs. Housman. That would be hard as teaching circus actors to 
ride two horses. One might fall between them. While learning 
to be gentlemen, some girls forget how to be ladies. 

Professor. When educated according to the modern way, they both 
have similar traits. 

Mrs. Housman. That was the way that you yourself were edu- 
cated? 

Professor. Certainly. 

Mrs. Housman. I see — I understand. 

Mrs. Marr. I wish that Florence had not been sent from home 
to your school, sister. 

Professor. Yes, yes ; it always is a great mistake to send a child 
away from home ; and — I may say it — from her own home col- 
lege. 

Mrs. Marr. I always wanted her to learn and love to speak in 
public. Once, when she was young, she spoke so well. 

Professor. Of course, she was your daughter ! 

Mrs. Marr. They used to think she would take after me. 

Professor. They did? 

Mrs. Marr. They did, indeed. 

Professor. Who would have thought it ! 

Mrs. Marr. What, what? — You mean? — 

Professor. I beg your pardon. I — I thought you did not think so. 
I but meant in some things — very little things — quite slight. 

Mrs. Marr. (stiffly). My public — humph! — career you think quite 
slight? 



A Lady's Limitations 11 

Profkssor. Not that, of course, not that! I meant in other— in 
slight things— she did not take after you. 

Mr. Marr. Is rather getting after her, Professor— to quote the 
boys ; not so ? 

Mrs. Housman. I think, at times, our children, when we feed and 
dress them well, may trot along contented where our bodies are 
leading them, but never where our thoughts. These do not walk 
but fly; and where they wing they leave no tracks behind them. 
Even those who try to follow can not often do it. 

Mrs. Marr. She does not even try. I wish she had a stronger 
character. 

Mrs. IIousman. Strong character that can convert and use an- 
other's thought and feeling for one's own, is often shown by 
women more in private than in public. 

Mrs. Marr {to the Professor). To think !— the champion she might 
be for us ! All men are waiting for a girl like her. 

Mrs. Housman. She might be satisfied if one were waiting. 
(Florence laughs.) 

Mrs. Marr {to Florence). I have a mind to send you home. 

Mrs. Housman. Oh, no ; no need to fear that, Florence ! I assure 
you no suffragette would send a woman home. 

Enter — Left Second — Captain, in dress uniform. 

Mrs. Marr {rising). Ah, Captain, have returned? 

Captain {saluting). Am at your service. 

Mrs. Marr. We will begin inspecting, first, the tents. 

Captain. You mean to go inside the privates' tents? 

Mrs. Marr. Why not? 

Captain. The men are resting. 

Mrs. Marr. What of that ? 

Captain. They might not be in dress to welcome ladies. 

Mrs. Marr. Then you can give them orders. 

Captain. Might it not be well to wait until tomorrow? They are 

not on duty now. This might annoy them. 
Professor {rather offensizrly). They ought to be on duty, ought 

they not, when called to welcome one who is above them? 
Captain {to Mrs. Marr, ignoring the Professor). They must 

dress up, then? 
Mrs. Marr. Common gentlemen dress up for common ladies, do 

they not? 
Professor. Then why not more these soldiers for their mayor? 
Captain. Just now their tents, too, might not be in order. 
Mrs. Marr. You know one object of inspection is to find out what 

men do when off their guard. 
1'rofessor {exultingly and ofUciously) . No use in trying to hide 

things from her! 



12 A Lady's Limitations 

Captain, All gentlemen hide certain things from ladies. 

Mrs. Mark. But we are dealing with them now as men, not gen- 
tlemen. 

Professor. Just so. 

Captain. Among militia are always some who never can forget 
that they are gentlemen. They might resent a visit that did not 
suggest the fact. 

Mr. Marr. Yes, really, Mary, now — 

Mrs. Marr {with a gesture of impatience to Mr. Marr). Will you 
keep still. {Aside to the Professor) What do you think of 
that? — a subterfuge? {The Professor gestures his agreement 
with her suggestion) The very thing we women were elected to 
see about! Whichever way one looks {to the Captain) there 
seems a something to be covered up. 

Captain. And I shall see that it is covered up before your threat- 
ened visit has exposed it. 

Exit — Left Second — Captain. 

Frof. What impudence ! 

Mrs. Marr. If he continue this, he ought to be removed. 

Mr. Marr. Would never do ; no, really, now. He is the only man 
who understands the strikers, or can thwart them. 

Mrs. Marr. A man who has not some regard for law, or her who 
represents it — 

Professor. Is himself a striker. 

Mrs. Housman. If he be, he might strike back. 

Mrs. Marr. No gentleman would strike a lady. 

Mrs. Housman. Oh, I thought you had discarded those old tests — 
how gentlemen and ladies treat each other. 

Mr. Marr {to Mrs. Marr). If I were you, before I walked about 
the camp, I would conceal that pocketbook. You know they have 
all sorts of people here. The most are honest, but there may be 
thieves. {He points to a small bag attached to Mrs. Marr's belt.) 

Mrs. Marr {to Mrs. Housman, pointing toward her husband). 
That man, in twenty years of married life, has never learned 
that women wear no pockets. 

Mr. Marr. I know, but, then, when women have their rights — I 
really thought you might have changed, you know. You make 
your dresses, pride yourselves on gumption, why not be com- 
fortable and be safe? — not keep things in your hands, or in your 
belt, where everyone around can snatch them from you? 

Mrs. Marr. Oh, yes ! and if I did not dress, and act like other 
women, you would be the first to blame me for it ! Yes, you 
know you would. 

Enter — Left Second — Captain and Stirling, both in full dress uni- 
form. 



A Lady's Limitations 13 

Captain {to Mrs. Marr). I just recall a State law that forbids 
a woman's visiting the tents, except at certain hours that are 
prescribed. 

Mrs. Marr. Aha! When things that ought not to be seen are 
hidden? And you suppose I care for laws like that? 

Captain. We all should care for laws — especially officials. 

Mrs. Marr. And officials, then, should brook such ways of thwart- 
ing their official duties ! 

Captain. That law has reasons — good ones. When in camp the 
soldiers rise at daybreak ; and, at evening, need rest and sleep. 
The women tempt to talk, and walk, and dance, and sometimes 
other things, more healthy for a soldier to avoid. 

Professor. You mention these here in a lady's presence? 

Mrs. Marr. These laws were made by men. 

Mrs. Housman. And men, perhaps, know best the kind of laws 
that soldiers need. 

Mrs. Marr. There are no laws that are not better made when they 
bespeak the thoughts of all the people. 

Mrs. Housman. Of all, perhaps, who understand the subject. 

Captain {to Mrs. Marr). I think you ought, at least, to read 
that law. If you will kindly step this way, will find it. 

Exeunt — Left Second — Mrs. Marr, the Captain, the Professor 
and Mr. Marr. (Stirling stands at the entrance, as if waiting 
for Florence and Mrs. Housman. At the same time, he makes 
a gesture to Mrs. Housman, indicating his desire to have her 
remain behind, and keep Florence with her.) 

Mrs. Housman {to Florence). You are not going with them, are 
you? 

Florence. No? Why not? 

Mrs. Housman {gesturing toward Stirling). There is a standing 
argument — 

Florence {turning toward Mrs. Housman, and evidently intend- 
ing to remain with her). Close by me; yes, I see it. 

Stirling {smiling and making a salute). I will be back here in a 
moment, ladies. 

Exit — Left Second — Stirling. 

Mrs. Housman. Truth is we women have our limitations. 

Florence. Is just what mama says. We should remove them. 

Mrs. Housman. I wonder, Florence, if you ever thought that wo- 
men's limitations — children's too, as everybody knows, and men's, 
as well — are just the things that make them most attractive? If 
it were not for limits, there could be no outlines; if no outlines, 
then no beauty, in fact no individuality of form or character. 
What charms in each comes from the bounds in which kind 
heaven confines it, 



14 A Lady's Limitations 

Florence. But mama says by women's limitations men mean our 
weaknesses. 

Mrs. Housman. What then? We all like best those weak enough 
to let us help them. 

Florence (pointing to the Right). What seem the limits keeping 
us away from this place? 

Mrs. Housman. A woman, like a merchant's wares, can never 
seem too dear where she is wanted. But in a place where there 
is no demand for her — well, one might say she might be shelved. 

Florence. You think such fate awaits us there? 

Mrs. Housman. I fear it. What should you think of men who 
made a call on you just when about to go to bed? 

Florence. Should think the call too loud — might wake me. 

Mrs. Housman. Dogs are not the only brutes that growl when 
waked. 

Florence. This visit, though, is quite exceptional. 

Mrs. Housman. That is the trouble — too exceptional. Our deeds 
that are exceptional appear the rule to those who only see us 
once. And Stirling's friends might lose respect for him, if losing 
it for one they think he loves, 

Florence. Oh, if you put it that way! — 

Mrs. Housman. Must — not so? 

Florence. I wonder, then, what comment they would make on 
mama's latest plan for me. 

Mrs. Housman. What is it? 

Florence. You heard her say — to have me learn by rote her 
written speeches, then go round the country delivering them to 
women in conventions. 

Mrs. Housman. And why should you do that? 

Florence. To pay her back for giving me a college education. 

Mrs. Housman. I mean what is there in yourself? Do you 
believe in her opinions? 

Florence. Yes, in some ; not others. 

Mrs. Housman. Yet would plead for all of them? 

Florence. She says none blame an actress on the stage for not 
believing what she says. 

Mrs. Housman. The actress makes no pretenses of believing them. 
She imitates her thoughts as well as words. But orators are all 
supposed to plead their own opinions, elsewise they are frauds. 
I fail to understand your mother. 

Florence. She says I speak so well, and look so well when I am 
speaking ! 

Mrs. Housman. , What you say or do, should be determined then 
by how you look, not how you think or feel. A strange solution 
for that old fight between the form and spirit! A strange con- 
ception, too, of woman's rights ! — to further them by taking from 
one's daughter the right to speak or not, as she believes!. Come, 
promise me, now., not to yield to her, 



A Lady's Limitations 15 

P'lorence, But how about the honor due to parents? 

^'Jrs. Housman. The only parent of the soul is God; and when 

our language fails to speak its prompting, think what dishonor 

we have done to Him? 
Florence. I had not thought it quite so serious. 
Mrs. Housman. No ; nor your mother either, I suppose. 
Florence. Oh, no ; she merely thought me selfish — not obliging. 

Enter — Left Upper — Mrs. Mark, the Professor, Mr. Marr, Stir 
LING and the Captain. 

Mrs. Housman {not perceiving that Mrs. Marr has entered). 

That reminds me of a hunter who pelts a cliff with pebbles that 

the birds may fly from it, and be shot down. When ills are 

threatening conscience, petty accusations, that fright from paltry 

dangers, often prove the surest way to make us fly to great ones. 
Florence. My mother did not mean — 
Mrs. Housman. She tried to rule you not through your thinking, 

but your feeling. 
Florence. Yes. 
Mrs. Marr {to Mrs. Housman, whom she overhears). That is a 

mother's privilege. 
Mrs. Housman. It is, — a mother's privilege when she rules a 

child, as mothers do ; not when she rules the grown, as governors 

must. The child is ruled by love ; grown people often must be 

ruled by force. Love using feeling tends to make love perfect. 

Force, using feeling, tends to violence. 
Mrs. Marr {evidently much incensed, to Florence). I came to 

get you, Florence — will not do to be in camp without a chaperon. 
Mrs. Housman. Excuse me, sister, but I heard you say that she 

was going to act as your lieutenant. Lieutenants have no need 

of chaperons. You think so. Captain? 
Captain. Humph! why not? Why not? I think that Stirling 

here might answer "yes," I too, and all the camp tonight — why 

not? 
IMrs. Marr {to Captain). Do you intend to find those laws for 

us? 
Captain. Of course, of course ! I told you. They must be across 

the green here with the paymaster. At times he needs them — 

keeps them in his tent. 

Exeunt — Right Second — Omnes except Mrs. Marr and the Pro- 
fessor. 

Mrs. Marr. Is very shiftless ! 

Professor. Careless, yes ! You know we might oblige each cap- 
tain in his tent, to keep his record straight, by having with him 
a girl stenographer, as his lieutenant. 

Exeunt— Right Second— M^s. Marr and the Professor, 



16 A Lady's Limitations 

finter — Left Upper — Sergeant, Corporal, Dick and Charlie. All 
are in shirt sleeves, and decided dishabille^ smoking or carrying 
pipes. The Sergeant carries a pack of cards. 

Sergeant. I knew there was a table here — come on. (To Dick 
and Charlie) You get the mugs. Now for a quiet game. (He 
sits at the head of the table facing the audience. The Corporal 
sits on a chair two seats azvay from him, nearest the audience. 
Dick and Charlie enter the left tent.) 

Corporal (to Sergeant). Shall we get home this week? 

Sergeant (shuMing the cards). Oh, yes, I hope so! 

Corporal. Are some big differences yet between the strikers and 
employers. 

Sergeant. Yes, they loom up like mountains. But a mountain can 
be tunneled. If only both side-gangs work straight, in time they 
make connection. When the thing that parts men is thinking, 
what they need is thinking straight; and then in time their 
thoughts will make connection. 

Enter — from the left tent, Dick and Charlie, carrying four mugs 
of beer. 

Corporal. But when will men like these think straight? 

Charlie (sitting down between Corporal and Sergeant). Should 
ask when will they think at all? 

Dick (sitting down opposite the Corporal, on the chair nearest the 
audience). With all their talk, one might suppose them thinking 
now. 

Corporal. Oh, no ; the parrots talk, and men may m.ake most noise 
because, like engines letting off their steam, their minds are not 
at work. 

Charlie. I wish our women had let this fight alone; and done 
less talking. 

Corporal. Yes, yes — on both sides! Trouble is that women sup- 
pose they must express their sentiments — not facts pale white, 
but ruddy with emotion ; and human beings are like bulls — you 
wave a little red at them, or let them see what brings a red flush 
on yourself, they fight. 

Charlie. No matter, either, what a little thing they have to fight 
about. 

Dick. Precisely, yes. They scratch a flea because they feel it, 
not because they think of it. 

Sergeant. Quite right! I see — have been a man of some experi- 
ence, Dick. 

Corporal (to Sergeant). You think there is less feeling than there 
has been? 

Sergeant. Oh. yes, Both sides are cooling off. 



A Lady's Limitations 17 

Corporal. But how about the mayor? 

Sergeant. Why? 

Corporal. You know they hiss her? 

Sergeant, Of course — in times like these — not personal! And if 

it were, she knows enough, I guess, to sink her personality in 

what her office represents. 
Corporal. She did not take it to sink her personality. 
Sergeant. She took it with all of its conditions, I suppose. This 

getting office is like getting married — for better, or for worse. 

No man can gain its honors, and escape from some dishonors. 
Charlie. At times deserved too for his limitations ! No portraits 

ever grace a hall of fame without suggesting caricatures. 
Sergeant. Quite right! Our metal may be gold; but beat the 

gold, as men do when they make a server of it, the plate may 

prove so thin that every bulge embossed in beauty on its upper 

side is matched by hideous holes "upon its under. 
Corporal. And that is why a ruler ought to have a character too 

tough to feel an insult. If not, he never can be independent. 
Sergeant. Are you acquainted with our mayor? 
Corporal. No; I never saw her. 
Sergeant {to Charlie). You have, though? 
Charlie. Not I. 

Sergeant {to Dick). And how with you? 
Dick. Me too. 

Sergeant. Is very strange — have not embraced our opportunities. 
Corporal. And should not want to, if reports be true. {Voices 

of zvomen talking are heard) Hello! What noise is that? 

Some women, eh? 
Sergeant. A number, I should say. 
Corporal. And most of us who have to pitch our tones against 

the women's prefer to catch them, as when playing ball, one at 

a time. 
Sergeant. How could they get inside the camp at this hour? 

Must have known the rules? 
Corporal. Yes; you can trust a woman, every time, to find out all 

the rules against herself. 
Charlie. The guards would stop them. 
Sergeant. Common sense would stop them — at such an hour as 

this — with all the camp in dishabille. They show a deal of cheek, 
Dick. And cheek is something some of us might think should get 

a smack. 
Sergeant. But not the kind they want. 
Corporal. The kind that they deserve. 
Sergeant. Quite right ! We men are so polite that, in that fete 

called life, we serve what might be termed deserts to women 

more often than to men. Their temperament seems apter to 

assert the subtle law that like attracts the like. We men may 



18 A Lady's Limitations 

have the strength of steel, but women have a magnetism stronger 
than all steel and draw from us the thing we get from them. If 
they be gentle, we are gentlemen. If they be rude, why, we are 
rude ourselves. Would be discourtesy, forsooth, to meet them 
on terms that might not meet their approbation! Humph, all 
our lives they keep us in our places as planets do their satellites. 

Corporal. By what? 

Sergeant. By their attraction. 

Corporal. If they fail to have it? ^ 

Sergeant. Why, then, society slides back to chaos. 

Charlie. Is danger of that now. I wonder if young men today 
admire, as I admired, a woman at their age? 

Sergeant. You mossback, man; the world has grown, and women 
with it. 

Charlie. Let them — unless they grow away from their own na- 
ture ; or, say, from ours. 

Corporal. A shame to have them grow ! A woman wants a pet. 
She gets a child. A man has like wants, and he gets a wife ; 
and pets, if wives or children, show no sense to keep on grow- 
ing, if they can avoid it. 

Sergeant. I sometimes think, if I had made mankind, I should 
have made them all of but one sex. All might be women, up to 
forty, say; then — by a sort of tadpole-change — all men. 

Corporal. That would have rid life of two nuisances, — the small 
boy, and great women. 

Sergeant. And we all, before we got through living, would have 
had the same experience. 

Corporal. Oh, yes, I see; have sung soprano first — and sung it 
well — and then sung bass. 

{Voices of women become louder.) 

Charlie. That chorus coming now could be made base enough — 
or has been made so — without your change, I think. 

Sergeant. It looks . that way. If they be coming here we ought 
to give them a point or two. 

Charlie. They would be tough enough to stand a pretty sharp 
one. 

Enter — Right Upper — Mrs. Marr and the Professor. 

Mrs. Mark {addressing the m,ilitiamen, and, in tones and actions, 
expressing evident disapproval of what they are doing). Good 
evening. 

{All the militiamen continue sitting.) 

Sergeant {glancing up indifferently). Good night. 
Mrs. Marr {fastideously, to the Professor). They all are in their 
shirt sleeves! 



A Lady's Limitations 19 

Sergeant. Yes ; is hot ; but yet would be too cold, you know, to 
not have that much on. 

Corporal. Oh, you mistake ! What she expected was our night 
gowns. 

Mrs. Marr {indignantly). You forget yourself. 

Corporal. Why, all the women I know that come to camp at this 
hour would expect them. 

Mrs. Marr. You insult me — 

Corporal. Oh, no; not at all. The nurses always want us in our 
night gowns. 

Mrs. Marr. You take me for a nurse, then? 

Corporal. You are not? And in the camp when we should be in 
bed? 

{The Professor points to the hag hanging in her belt.) 

Mrs. Marr {placing her hand on her bag and speaking to the Pro- 
fessor, but overheard by the others). No matter yet! Of course 
I have my cards inside my bag — can show them when I need 
them. {She continues to the soldiers). Is it your custom when 
you talk with ladies to keep your seats, while they are standing? 

(Charlie, zvho sits near the rear of the stage where Mrs. Marr 
can not reach his seat, rises. The others keep their seats.) 

Corporal {to Mrs. Marr). Why, do you intend to stay with us 
all night? 

(Charlie comes to the front of the stage where Mrs. Marr and 
the Professor have their backs to him; and, while the others 
continue to talk, he removes the bag from the belt of Mrs, Marr, 
shows it to the other militiamen, and puts it under one of tlje 
chairs, as if it had dropped there.) 

Mrs. Marr (to the Corporal). You think that I would stay in such 
a place — where men are drinking, smoking, playing cards? 

Corporal. Excuse me — thought that you suggested it. 

Mrs. Marr {pointing to his mug). And that is beer? 

Corporal {gesturing mockingly to his comrades). Would you pre- 
fer champagne? 

Mrs. Marr. Where did you get your license? 

Sergeant. Ask your dog. Where did you get your own you use 
so freely? 

Mrs. Marr. I will not stand this. 

Dick {without rising). Then will you sit down? 

Corporal {pointing to Dick, where he sits). He must mean on 
his lap — is fond of lap-dogs. 

Professor {gesturing toward Mrs. Marr). Call her a dog? 

Corporal. Why not? We always judge of strangers by the com- 
pany they keep. 

Professor {to Mrs. Marr). They ought to go to prison. 

Corporal {to Professor) Go to prison? {She begins now, and 
continues to the end of the act, to search for her bag containing 



20 A Lady's Limitations 

her visiting cards, in which the Professor assists her) You hold 
your tongue and not be overheard, or you will find yourself in- 
side the guard house. 

Professor. No, really, now, you must excuse me, but — is yours 
the way to treat a lady? 

Corporal. No ; unless she has forgotten how to be one. 

Mrs. Marr. You are insulting. 

Corporal. So is truth, at times. No ladies ever force themselves 
on men when they are half undressed — at bed time, too. 

Mrs. Marr. We came to see what you were doing. 

Corporal. Did you? Well, that was not so very delicate! 

Sergeant. And worse — was rather indiscreet, not so? We must 
arrest you. 

Mrs. Marr. Me? What do you mean? 

Sergeant. That any one who steals — 

Mrs. Marr. Some one has stolen my bag and card case. 

Sergeant (paying no attention to her). What I said was this — 
that any one who steals inside the camp, against the law, to find 
what we are doing, must be a spy — at least be treated like one. 
Come, come, own up. You came in here tonight because the 
strikers wanted you to come. 

Mrs. Marr. I came because I had a right to come. I am the city's 
mayor. 

Sergeant. Oh, get out! 

Enter — Right Upper — Stirling. 

Mrs. Marr (pointing to Stirling). There — Mr. Stirling! He will 
tell you of me. 

(Stirling appears about to speak.) 

Sergeant (to Stirling). I sent for you, eh? 

Stirling (saluting). No. 

Sergeant. Then you get out. My duty here is to fulfill my or- 
ders. Your time to be a witness will come later. 

Exit — Left Second — Stirling. 

Professor (to Sergeant). But really now the thing she says is 

true. 
Charlie (to Sergeant). It may be true. Josh. You just look 

at her. She looks exactly like her caricatures. 
Sergeant. Those ugly caricatures! You dare insult our real 

mayor that way? 
Mrs. Marr. I shall see that you are all court-marshaled. 
Sergeant. Is more likely for you to get your heels above our heads 

by getting hung there. Is a way we have, and not unusual with 

spies, you know! (To the militiamen) Arrest them. 



A Lady's Limitations 21 

{The Corporal and two Privates begin to carry out the order, and 
in doing so, to take them to the Left. The mugs are left on the 
table.) 

Professor. .Gentlemen, but I assure you — 

Mrs. Marr. You must not dare to put j^our hands on me — the 
mayor. 

Sergeant. The mayor ! Coming here at night, encouraging the 
women of the town to break our rules, and breaking them your- 
self! The mayor — bah! {To the militiamen.) You take them to 
the guard house. 

Mrs. Marr {shouting) Oh, Captain ! 

Professor. Captain ! 

Mrs. Marr. Captain, help ! help ! help ! 

Exit — Left Second — Omnes. 

CURTAIN. 



22 A Lady's Limitations 

ACT 11. 

Scene: The same as in Act I. 

Enter — Left Upper — The Sergeant, Corporal, Dick and Charlie, 
all dressed as in Act I. 

Corporal (to Sergeant). The mayor will be down on us forever. 
A pretty scrape it was you got us into! 

Sergeant. I got you into ? No ; you got yourselves. 

Corporal. What made you keep on after Stirling came? You 
might have known he knew her from the way he looked at her, 
and she at him. 

Sergeant. Of course! And that was just the reason I kept on. 
You know when one gets into slippery places, and start to slide 
down hill, the safest thing, at times, is not to try to stop himself, 
but keep on sliding, till he touches bottom. So when a man has 
made a big mistake, he sometimes makes a bigger one, in case 
he fails to emphasize the one he made, so all will see how big 
it was, and what a big excuse he had for making it. 

Dick. You think our mayor is going to reason that way? 

Sergeant. Why not? Most people would. 

Corporal. I think the mayor will probably not reason any way. 

Charlie. No ; she will size us up by intuition. 

Dick. And size us down because we were too uppish. 

Sergeant. She knows it was all wrong for her to be here against 
the rules. The right was on our side. Some years ago a mayor 
in the East got drunk one night, and was arrested for it. Next 
day, when he recovered, as the mayor, he had the man who had 
arrested him promoted. 

Charlie. I bet the drinks that mayor was not a woman. 

Corporal (taking up a mug of beer and smelling it). Your bet 
would not be worth much paid in this. Too stale now! Come 
inside, and get some fresh ones. (He goes inside of the entrance 
at the Left of the Left Tent. The others follow him, carrying 
their mugs.) 

Enter — Left Second — Stirling, with a gun on his shoulder, evi- 
dently acting as a sentinel.) 

Enter — Right Second — Mrs. Housman and Florence. 

Florence (to Stirling). I understand they have arrested mama. 

Stirling. They have. 

Florence, Then we must go to her at once — and help her. 



A Lady's Limitations 23 

Stirling. No ; no harm will come to her. Besides, it would not 

do to interfere, or even follow. You might be arrested. You 

know our rules. Our men were in the right. 
rLORp:NCE. But how could that be? Mama is the mayor. We 

want to go and tell them who she is. 
Stirling. No use in that. I tried myself to tell them. 
1 LORENCE. And they would not believe you ? 
Stirling. They were drinking. 
Florence. Were drunk? (To Mrs. Housman) Oh, aunty, think 

of that— the brutes ! And mama in their power ! 
Stirling. Oh, no; not drunk! You know how dogs act when 

you snatch their bone? The men were at their table and dis- 
turbed. (He gestures toward the table.) 
Florence. And so they threatened her? More reason why we 

ought to help her. 
Stirling.. Do you think you can? 

F'lorence. They wouldn't fight with women, would they? 
Stirling. Yes ; if women started out to fight with them. 
Florence. Then you must go and order them to free her. 
Stirling. What good would that do ? I could give no orders 

against an officer. T am a private. 
Florence. You are to be lieutenant. 
Stirling. I shall not be 'till my commission comes. 'Till then, 

you know, no one can free your mother but the captain. 
Florence. Then you must find him. 
Stirling. No ; impossible ! My orders are to stay just where I 

am. 
Florence. And yet you said you loved me? 
Stirling. Yes, I said so. 

Florence. You have a poor way, then, of showing it. 
Mrs. Housman. No, not a poor way, Florence! Love, when true, 

reveals with truth one's inward traits; and men, when obstinate 

in duty, may express the same as women who oblige by yielding. 
Florence. But mama? — 
Stirling. They will find the Captain soon. 
Florence. And then? 
Stirling. Then we shall hear apologies. 
Florence. You think that this will make all right? 
Stirling. Why not? 
Florence. Why, mama has been publicly disgraced. They say the 

soldiers seized her — knocked her hat lop-sided. Think! And 

how she must have looked! 
Mrs. Housman. Yes, what a picture for the comic papers. 
Stirling. The comic papers are but incidents. They mainly make 

the smile a little broader with which we greet a popular favorite. 
Florence. They hurt — 



24 A Lady's Limitations 

Stirling. Why any more so than the tickling we give to little 
children, when we like them? 

Mrs. Housman. Yes, j^es; we ought to see the other side. What 
an advertisement it is for one in public life — to prove both promi- 
nent and picturesque — to draw the world's attention in such an 
interesting way! You know some folks dislike the democratic 
donkey. But when an artist mounts the candidates upon its back 
that sets them off ! 

Stirling. Becomes what one might term the office seeker's asset. 

Florence. I will not have you making fun of mama ! 

Mrs. Housman. Forgive us, Florence. It was all good natured. 
We want to show you that we fail to find the situation very 
serious. 

Florence. But mama was insulted. 

Mrs. Housman. We recall that office holders all get used to that. 

Florence. You think a lady can get used to insult? 

Mrs. Housman. Why not? The theory out here seems to be that 
ladies can be used for anything. If so, they can get used to any- 
thing. 

Stirling. The cocked hat was an accident. No hats of men are 
pinned. The soldiers would not notice the peril when your 
mother's was unpinned. 

Florence. Oh, but they would, and they will tell their wives! 
And then their wives tell all the town about it. 

Stirling. Would be the women then who did the harm. A hard 
time we should have if we began to punish women for their 
talking ! 

Mrs. Housman. Yes. He thinks the prisons could not hold them 
all. Confess it now. 

Enter — from Left Tent — The Sergeant, Corporal, Dick and Char- 
lie. They have the mugs in their hands, and come tozvard the 
table.) 

Stirling. Here come the men, I think, who took the mayor to the 
guard house. (He salutes the Sergeant, and gestures tozvard 
the ladies) Please — You took the mayor to the guard house? 

Sergeant. Yes. 

Stirling. What happened then, please. 

Sergeant. Humph ! The Captain came, and he released her. 

Florence (to Sergeant). Yes, of course; and where are they at 
present? 

Stirling (introducing the ladies to the militiamen, who from this 
time on to the end of the play are exceedingly polite to them, but 
ahvays very impolite to Mrs. Marr), Miss Marr, gentlemen; 
and Mrs. Housman. 

Sergeant (to Florence), She went off with him, 



A Lady's Limitations 25 

(Sfkgf.axt and oflirr soldiers remain talking with Stirling.) 
Florence (aside to Mrs. Housman). And what shall we do? 
Mrs. Housman. Better stay right here. These soldiers know us. 

Others might arrest us. 
Florence. The men might talk to us. 
Mrs. Housman. What if they did? 
Florence. Why, do we know them— or their families? 
Mrs. Housman. But I shall be with you. 
Ilorence. Would have me, then, associate with all the roughs in 

town? 
Mrs. Housman. I have no sympathy— I need not say it— with 

many of your mother's aspirations; and yet, you know, she wants 

a re-election. If so, her daughter might be 'inconsiderate, if she 

should alienate the city's voters. 
Florence. I see— is just what mama would have said; and yet the 

whole thing goes against one's nature. 
Mrs. Housman. That seems to make no difference out here. In 

gettmg votes, like getting fish at sea, no one can hope to know 

what fills the net, or leave out anything, however foul, 'till all 

the catch has been drawn in, not so? 
Florence. I must conciliate these soldiers, then? 
Mrs. Housman. A little kindness could do you no harm; and it 

might make you loyal to your mother. 
Florence (to the Sergeant). Ah, Mr. Sergeant, Mr. Stirling says 

he tried to tell you who my mother was, and that you would not 

heed him. 
Sergeant. Oh, we knew who tried to tell it! 
Florence. You did not believe him? 
Sergeant. No one in camp can credit all he hears. 
Florence. Thought it a joke? 
Sergeant (looking significantly at the other militiamen). Oh yes 

a good joke, yes ! ' ' 

Florence (aside to Mrs. Housman). I scarcely like his manner 

Does he mean to hint that they believed it was a lie? 
Mrs. Housman. Perhaps not that! One can not always tell ex- 
actly what it is that men think funny. 
Florence. And mama says they have no right to keep their secrets 

from us. I have never thought that he could be untruthful- 

but— you know— Well, papa says a girl should judge a man by 

what men think of him. They doubted him. 
Sergeant (to Florence and Mrs. Housman, gesturing toivard the 

chairs). Will you sit down? 
Florence (to Sergeant). Oh, thank you. 
Sergeant (to Florence). Will you have some ginger ale? Here 

Charlie, get them some. 

Exit— into the Left r^«/— Charlie. 



26 A Lady's Limitations 

Mrs. Housman turns for a moment to speak to Stirling at the 
left. Florence and the others sit down; the Sergeant at the 
head of the table facing the audience, the Corporal next to him 
at the right, and then Florence. Dick sits at the left of the 
Sergeant.) 

Mrs. Housman (to Stirling). Is no objection to our staying here? 

Stirling (smiling). Is nothing else to do, apparently. 

Mrs. Housman. Is quite embarrassing! 

Stirling. It is — for us. A house is one thing, and a camp an- 
other. In one, men lay aside their working guise; but in the 
other they must keep it on. Not strange it shocks a shy man's 
modesty to meet with ladies in what custom calls undress ! He 
likes to seem to hold them dear; not treat them as if he were 
cheapening them. Besides — as nature makes it, I suppose — in 
crowds men crave companionship with men, where all can throw 
aside, as bathers do, all thought of dress or consequence, and 
lose a sense of difference in the harmony of superficial but 
hilarious good fellowship. With women — well — most men like 
women best when most alone with them. They like the confi- 
dences half revealed, half hidden, that show the traits that sepa- 
rate souls not alike, but complementary. Man's love for man 
may be but secular, for woman, sacred; yet he needs them 
both — men for a throng, and maids for tete-a-tetes. To mess is 
just as useful as to mate (looking toivard the left). But you 
will please excuse me for a moment. 

Exit — Left Second — Stirling. 

(Mrs. Housman returns to the table. All rise, and Dick draws 
out the chair nearest the audience at the left of the table. All sit.) 

Enter — from Left Tent — Charlie. (He brings two mugs and 
places one in front of Mrs. Housman, and one in front of Flor- 
ence; then he remains standing.) 

Mrs. Housman (looking into her glass, then leaning over and mis- 
chieviously looking into Dick''s glass). Humph! Ginger ale! 

Sergeant. How did you find it out? 

Mrs. Housman. Have had experience; have had a husband. 

Sergeant. Well, well, we must own up then, I suppose. Truth is 
we had a caution given us. The Captain says the mayor, to 
punish us for her arrest, has trumpt up some old law against 
our having beer or playing cards inside the park. 

Mrs. Housman (laughingly) . And you, whose trumpets blow to 
keep the laws from being broken by others, have trumpt up ways 
of breaking them yourselves ! 

Sergeant. No ; not exactly ways of breaking them. One time this 
was a park, yet not just now; but an encampment. 



A Lady's Limitations 27 

Charlie. All encampments, too, have their canteen— 

Dick. Except where women rule them. 

Mrs. Housman. Come, come, now gentlemen; remember, please, 

how much some women suffer from this drinking. 
Florence. I think they are more likely to remember how much 

some men may suffer from not drinking! You men seem always 

very thirsty. 

Enter— Left Second— STiRhmc, 

Sergeant. Yes, especially when we play at soldiering. A business 
man, when not at work, feels like a fish when out of water so 
he soaks. 

Corporal. And if his palate be not dry enough to take in all that 
flows his way, he starts a fire to do the work. {Lighting a cigar 
and speaking to Florence). Do you object? (Florence shakes 
her head) Perhaps you will assist us (offering Florence a 
cigarette). 

Florence (taking it). Thank you; thank you. 

Stirling (approaching the table, and evidently angry to see Flor- 
ence take the cigarette). They say that in inebriate asylums 
they start out first by curing smoking habits. 

Corporal. Of course. 

Stirling. And earth would need few such asylums if all should 
start to keep our growing boys— and not to say our girls— from 
cigarettes. 

Corporal. I thought that you believed in letting men do what they 
chose. 

Stirling. I do— in letting men. But if we let our babes or boys 
do what they chose we never should have many men. 

Corporal. You mentioned girls. 

Stirling. If men should let the girls do what they choose, we 
never should have ladies. 

Florence (to the Soldiers). Excuse me, please, a moment. (She 
rises in evident dudgeon. Mrs. Housman also rises. The two 
go to the Right. All the militiamen rise and bow with the ut- 
most politeness to Florence and Mrs. Housman. After they 
leave the militiamen sit down, and one of them pulls out a pack 
of cards, and they all begin to play, Charlie taking the seat va- 
cated by one of the ladies.) 

Stirling (following Florence and addressing her). May I ioin 
you ? ^ 

Florence. You have expressed your views enough, I think. 

Stirling. You know the man that you were flirting with^ 

Florence. I should not call it flirting. 

Stirling. Call it what you like— the most disreputable man we 
have in town here— to be seen with women ! 



28 A Lady's Limitations 

Florence. But you go with him. 

Stirling. Yes ; because I must ; and I have worked with him in- 
side a ditch. No reason that, why you should do the same. 

Florence. I merely did what aunt here said I should. 

Stirling {to Mrs. Housman). You knew that man, and told her 
to act that way? 

Mrs. Housman. Oh, no; I said that, for her mother's sake, she 
ought not to avoid these men, but be conciliatory. 

Stirling. That is what you call it? I wonder if you ever thought 
of this: Men's vices, as we know, lead men astray; but, fuse 
them with a woman's natural charms, and you increase their 
power to tempt ten-fold. A woman doing just the thing that 
man does can incarnate the devil in a sense impossible for him. 

Florence {sarcastically). You seem severe. 

Stirling. I saw you smoking, drinking with that man. 

Florence. The drink was ginger ale. The cigarette I merely held. 
I wanted to seem friendly. 

Stirling. And so deceived us? 

Florence. But I had to do it, or else insult the man. 

Stirling. Yet he supposed that you were fascinated. 

Florence {contemptuously). Fascinated just because — 

Stirling. Because you seemed to be. 

Florence. But he was a constituent of mama's. 

Stirling. Is that the way to treat constituents? Is that your 
mother's way? Does she deceive them? 

Florence. You need not talk to me about deception. The soldiers 
thought that you deceived them when you tried to tell them 
mama was the mayor. Deception ! Men deceive as much as 
women. 

Stirling. Oh, no, no; not that way! They lie, they bribe, they 
use brute force; but never think of baiting their hooks with their 
own personality; suggest — as that man thinks all women do — 
that he is master of their thought and feeling. We might ex- 
cuse reformers their attempt to level woman to the plane of man, 
did this not carry with it, too, the risk of sinking her to some- 
thing lower. 

Florence. Stop ! I shall not speak to you again ; no, never ! 

Enter — Right Second — Mr. Marr. 

Mr. Marr. Why, why, what is the matter, Florence? 

Florence. Matter? Enough! He has insulted me, most grossly. 

Stirling. I merely said — 

Mrs. Housman. No matter what you said. When listening to a 
foreign opera, and both the stars upon the stage begin to flush, 
and fisticate, and make a noise, no matter what they say, you 
fail to hear it; you wouldn't understand it, if you could. All 



A Lady's Limitations 79 

that you care to know of it is this : It is a part— a strong part— 
of the play. The sort of thing that I have just been hearing ap- 
pears to me the very strongest part of that experiment in har- 
mony—in human— yes, inhuman, harmony — on which you all seem 
practicing out here. You see the feature of the plot is this: 
The men and women love each other so, they both think both of 
them are just alike. But nature never made them thus. The 
one is fatter here, the other leaner there: but when they mingle, 
holding all in common, of course they put on one another's 
clothes. The clothes all bag, the clothes all pinch, and then they 
start to howl and swear at one another because all seem so selfish 
and so mean when wanting clothes that only fit themselves. 

Mr. Mark. Oh, they were talking of the woman question! No 
wonder they were quarreling! 

Mrs. Housman. Oh, no; a little thing! They will get used to 
that! But come, my Florence, you must go with me; and Mr. 
Stirling, we shall leave you here; and if you think our clothes 
will not fit you, you must not think to make vour clothes fit us. 

Stirling (to Florence). I beg your pardon. I forgot myself. 

l^LORENCE. I thought youf better self had been forgotten. 

Exeunt— Right Second— Mrs. Housman, Mr. Marr and Florence, 
followed by Stirling. 

Sergeant (looking after them). That girl and Stirling are en- 
gaged, I think. 

Corporal. A great fool he— to try to drive his nag, before he gets 
her hitched — will run away. 

Charlie. Good word, that, "nag"! She is the mayor's daughter! 

Sergeant. I guess the other one will keep her straight. A perfect 
lady ! 

Dick. Yes. 

Sergeant. She got the better of you upon the drinking question' 

Dick. How? 

Sergeant. By mentioning **the suffering women." Ever try to 
sit up for a night with one who had delirium tremens? 

Dick. No. 

Sergeant. You never got as near to hell as I, then. 

Corporal. Yes, a drunkard can make the very devil of a bed mate. 

Dick. Instead of beer, then, I suppose the women would give us 
candy. 

Charlie. And. with it, dyspepsia. 

Dick. And with dyspepsia whiskey, as its cure. 

Corporal. And, if not cured, dyspectic dispositions that damn one's 
home life more than drunkenness. 

Dick. Make drunkenness in those they drive from home. 



30 A Lady's Limitations 

Charlie. Suppose wc start up a society prohibiting the sale of 

candy. 
Sergeant. Ah, just there, my friend, you hint the canker-worm 

that makes most forms of prohibition rot. The old Greeks used 

to tell about the hydra — could not be killed by cutting off one 

head; it had so many heads — must cut off all. It is not appetites 

we have to fight, but appetite in general — all of it. 
Charlie. And what has that to do with prohibition? 
Sergeant. It never can prohibit all that tempts us; and what it 

does prohibit is prevented from training in us habits of resistinsf. 

Like plants, our natures never can grow strong, if always kept 

inside of nurseries. 
Charlie. Some women want to keep us all there, always. 
Corporal. What they were made to live in — nurseries! 
Sergeant. Yes, what a man conceives that he must fight, most 

women seem to think that they must fly from. While he seeks 

virtue in his self-control, they look for theirs in absence of its 

need. Their aim is not like his, — to do the right despite wrong 

feeling, but to feel aright. 
Charlie. And in their habits formed by following feeling you find 

the reason why a fallen woman is harder to reform than fallen 

man. 
Dick. All things about them are so delicate. A fallen woman 

always will look dowdy. 
Sergeant. You never know how soon, too, she may fall. A flirt- 
ing, smoking, drinking, sporting wife — 
Dick. Is better for the other fellow's wife. One never knows, in 

the coming by-and-by, what more he must put up — 
Sergeant. Or put up with. 
Charlie. In one thing, Josh, you hinted at the truth. No one 

admires a man who yields to feeling. 
Corporal. And few a woman who does not yield to it. 
Charlie. Strong argument against a woman ruler! 
Dick. And yet some say the sexes are alike. 
Charlie. Will never grow alike 'till men grow soft and women 

sharp. 
Sergeant. And both grow like the devil — the one because they 

have no strength, the other because they have no sweetness to 

outwit him. 
Charlie. You ever note how suffragettes object to have us praise 

up sweetness in a woman? 
Corporal. Then shut up now. You hear that voice out there? It 

seems the mayor's. We must get away. Take up these things — 

quick, quick! All right! Come, dodge behind the tent here 'till 

she gets beyond it. 
{They gather together in their hands their cards, and all the mugs, 

except those used by Mrs. Housman and Florence, and dodge 



A Lady's Limitations 31 

behind the Left Tent. Emerging at the left of this tent, and 
seen by the audience, they apparently watch and listen to the 
following conversation, now and then manifesting approval or 
disapproval of zuhat they hear.) 

Enter — Right — Mrs. Mark, the Captain and the Professor. 

Mrs. Marr. We must remove the Sergeant. 

Captain. Oh, not that ! No man that we could get could tell us 

more about the strikers' plans and whereabouts ! 
Mrs. Marr. He has insulted me. 

Captain. A mere mistake! Not one of them there knew you. 
Mrs. Marr. But they saw me. 
Captain, To see is not to think. The animals all see. It seems 

a paradox, and yet one may have senses, and but little sense. 
Mrs. Marr. Is thus with him. 
Captain. Yes, as a judge of women is not much of an expert; 

but of men. 
Mrs. Marr. It is a fundamental principle with all our party that 

the same conditions apply to both the sexes. 
Captain. Do you think a man can understand a woman then 

as well as can a woman? 
Mrs. Marr. What a question? As if we had not been at work 

for years to make men judge us rightly. 
Captain. But if men misjudge the women, it may be that women 

misjudge the men. 
Mrs. Marr. The cases differ. Women have insight. 
Captain. How about experience? 
(They have moved while talking to the front of the Left Tent, and 

the Sergeant, Corporal, Dick and Charlie, to escape discovery, 

stealthily cross the stage at the Rear, and continue to watch and 

listen at the right of the Right Tent.) 
Mrs. Marr. She does not want it as a man does. 
Captain. And does not get it. 
Mrs. Marr. Ugh! It smells of beer. 
Captain (taking up and smelling on-e of the mugs left on the 

table). This mug does not. 
Mrs. Marr (taking it and smelling of it, then of the other on the 

table). There are those here that would! They thought, just 

now, they could insult a lady and not be punished for it. We 

shall see. They had no license here for selling beer. 
(Sergeant, Corporal, Dick and Charlie, at the right of the Right 

Tent, make signs of apprehension and disapproval.) 
Captain. They bought it of a man who had. 
Mrs. Marr. They sell it. 
Captain. They make no money by it. It would not be politic to 

give the boys free beer. They might abuse the privilege, and 

so they pay for what they get. 



32 A Lady's Limitations 

Mrs. Marr. You know this field is in the park, and, as I said, 
our laws prohibit it. I saw their beer on this (pointing to the 
table). The keg must be in there, inside that tent, (She points 
and followed by the Captain and the Professor, she walks to- 
ward the door of the Right Tent. When they get in front of 
this tent, the Sergeant, Corporal, Dick and Charlie stealthily 
cross the stage at the rear, and again appear, watching and 
listening, at the left of the Left Tent/) 

Captain (to Mrs. Marr). You wouldn't go in there? 

Mrs. Marr. Why not? 

Captain. Because it is another's — is a man's. Why I myself would 
hardly do it — not unless there was some very great emergency. 

Mrs. Marr. Exactly what there is. 

Captain. He might be bathing. 

Mrs. Marr. Then you yourself must go; and if you find the keg 
there, I myself will do the rest. 

Exit — through the door of the Right Tent — Captain. 

Professor (shrugging his shoulders, as if not having confidence in 

the Captain). You think? — 
Mrs. Marr. Yes ; he showed great indifference. He does not 

seem at all to realize the heinous character of their ofifense. 

Enter — from the Right Tent — Captain. 

Mrs. Marr (to Captain). You found the keg? 

Captain. No keg in there, I think. 

Mrs. Marr. If not in that tent, it must be in this one. (She zvalks, 
followed by the Captain and the Professor, tozvard the Left 
Tent. When they get in front of this, the Sergeant, Corporal, 
Dick and Charlie stealthily cross the stage at the rear, and again 
appear, watching and listening, at the right of the Right Tent. 
They also thrust their mugs under the canvas of this tent.) 

Captain. It seems to me we should be very cautious just how 
we manage this. The men in camp are all militia — volunteers ; 
and some have left their business at great inconvenience ; and 
sympathize with what the strikers want. We ought to be dis- 
creet, and not ofifend them. 

Mrs. Marr. The right is right, and wrong is wrong. 

Captain. It is; and when a strife is threatened, that which tends 
to peace is usually right, and that which tends to strife is 
wrong. 

Mrs. Marr. So you would yield. 

Captain. I would — in little things — to save the greater. 

Mrs. Marr. The little things together make the greater. 

Captain. No; hardly that. You never judge one's face by all its 
features, but by foremost ones ; and not a park by all its blades and 



A Lady's Limitations 33 

bushes; but by a few things — hills or trees in sunshine that cast 
the rest in shade. The gods may find all life a sieve, and strain 
all wisdom through it ; but human beings only get the drops 
that filter through an opening, here and there. 

Mrs. Marr. A coward always pleads for peace. 

Captain. And I do; not like a coward, but a patriot. In king- 
doms men may fight to guard the king; in states like ours they 
fight to guard the people. He guards them best who best wards 
off all fighting. 

Mrs. Marr. I beg your pardon, Captain, but this all sounds like 
the usual plea of politicians. 

Professor. It does, indeed ! 

Mrs. Marr. The very thing our party was created to oppose. 

(gesturing tozvard the Left Tent). Well, we are waiting! Will you 
go inside? 

Captain. Some one apears to be in there just now. (Sergeant, 
Corporal, Dick and Charlie, make demonstrations of approval 
of the Captain's answer.) 

Mrs. Marr. Was any one inside the other tent? 

Captain {gesturing toward the Right Tent). In that one? No. 

Mrs. Marr.. Then I myself shall search it. 

{She walks, foUozved by the Captain and Professor, tozvard the 
Right Tent. When they get in front of this, the Sergeant, Cor- 
poral, Dick and Charlie, first kneeling dbwn to get their mugs 
from under the canvas, stealthily cross the stage at the rear, and 
again appear, zvatching and listening at the left of the Left Tent.) 

Captain {to Mrs. Marr). I think I would not enter it. 

Mrs. Marr. Why not? 

Captain. These men here never meant to break the laws. The 
situation is abnormal. This is less a park than an encampment 
ground. And by a state law all encampment grounds have their 
canteen. 

Mrs. Marr. And you think that is right? 

Captain. I do. 

Mrs. Marr. I thought you were a moral person. (Captain keeps 
silent.) You do not answer? 

Captain. Would you answer me if hinting you were not? 

Mrs. Marr. Is different— I am a lady! You have not prevented 
their having beer. 

Captain. I could not— nor could you. The next best thing is 
trymg to have them drink that which is pure, and not too much 
of it. 

Mrs. Marr. You justify your letting them be tempted. 

Captain No one can keep a man from being tempted till he 
has nd hmi of his human nature and ills you never can eradicate 
you ought to try to regulate. If not. take one thing from a 
man, he finds another;— for beer finds brandy, and for alcohol 



34 A Lady's Limitations 

finds opium. True reform must aim to make the saints you seem 
to breed not mere weak sneaks. 

Mrs. Marr. An old plea, yes ! 

Captain. It is — as old as Eden with trees that gave men knowl- 
edge of the evil as well as of the good; — with grains and fruits 
in which a man could find both food and poison. 

Mrs. Marr. You would not keep the poison from his lips? 

Captain. No; I would make him keep his lips from poison. 

Mrs. Marr. Could do it? 

Captain. Not, perhaps, with every man. All training fails with 
some — is only fair, perhaps, to let the devil get his quota. But 
this should not prevent our trust in training; or in the mind 
we train. Few men are fools, and we shall find them fewest 
when we treat them not like unthinking brutes which they are 
not, but like true men who can be reached by reasons. When 
not reached thus — it may seem harsh to say it; yet if this life 
be meant for discipline, both fools and wise must take their 
chances in it — no man can fight the devil for another. 

Mrs. Marr. Humph! I am going to look inside this tent. (She 
disappears in the Right Tent. The moment that she does so, the 
Sergeant and Corporal, who have, evidently, been discussing 
some such action, enter the Left Tent, and roll out of its Left 
Entrance a beer keg, while Dick and Charlie take into their 
hands all the mugs.) 

Enter — Left Second — Mr. Marr. 

Corporal {to Mr. Marr, with gestures to the others, indicating a 
ludicrous connection between his action and the proximity cf 
Mrs. Marr.) Oh, Mr. Marr, these other fellows here are called 
away. Will you be good enough to help us move this keg? 

Mr. Marr. Where? 

Corporal, {pointing to the Left Second Entrance). Over there, 
inside that tent across the way. 

Mr. Marr. Of course. 

(Mr. Marr, the Sergeant and the Corporal start to roll the keg 
across the space betwen the Left Tent and the Left Second En- 
trance.) 

Professor {catching sight of them). Oh, Mrs. Marr, Mrs. Marr, 
come here. (Mrs. Marr comes from the Right Tent. The Pro- 
fessor points toward the Left.) 

Exeunt — Left Upper — the Sergeant, Corporal, Dick and Charlie. 

(Mr. Marr is left standing alone by the keg.) 
Mrs. Marr {to Captain). Aha; and what is this? I see it now — 
the reason of your long dispute with me — to keep me waiting 



A Lady's Limitations 35 

till the keg was hidden! {To Mr. Mark.) Ah, Mr. Marr, you 
thought that I was weak !— was weak, eh? weak! A woman can 
not have the spirit of a Brutus! No, you think that, when the 
criminal belongs to her— her own family— she will not dare to 
see that the authority of law is vindicated !— that her kith and 
kin are put to death, if necessary! No! Oh, you will find 
yourself mistaken now! {To Captain.) Arrest him, Captain, 
bend him off to jail. You men deserve to learn how all the 
world would bound to righteousness were women rulers. 

CURTAIN. 



36 A Lady's Limitations 



ACT III. 

Scene: The same as in Act I. A long twilight may he supposed, or 
to indicate the lateness of the hour, a few lighted lamps may hang 
here and there. 



Enter — Left Second — Mrs. Housman. 

Enter^Right Second — Florence. 

(Florence is dressed in a blue gymnasium suit resembling a man's. 
She has on a blue military cap and a belt and wears long boots 
with high heels, now fashionable, placed just under the instep.) 

Mrs. Housman. Where did you get that costume? 

Florence. At the college — at their gymnasium. All the girls in 
town go there to exercise, you know. They have a very fine 
instructor. 

Mrs. Housman. Yes, but here ! — 

Florence. He sent them here for mama, when she asked him. 

Mrs. Housman. But, bless my soul, I never heard of wearing a 
suit like that out on the street! 

Florence. Nor I; nor mama either; but she wanted it. You see 
we have a hundred girls or more ; and all of us have uniforms of 
blue; and at a distance we look just like men. She says, when 
wearing these, the other side will take us for some out-of-town 
militia, and not suppose us women. 

Mrs. Housman. If they did, what would it matter? 

Florence. Why, they might imagine the camp was not in fighting 
form, you know. Dressed this way, they will think us men, 
and fear us, because a larger force than was expected. 

Mrs. Housman. Are you to carry arms, and drill, and fight? 

Florence. Oh, no !^-not necessary ! — so she thinks. She says a 
battle seldom has been won by force. The means to use is 
strategy; and that is what she plans in using us. 

Mrs. Housman. Of all the craziest conceptions ! 

Enter — Right Upper — Mrs. Marr. 

(She is dresed like Florence, in a gymnasium suit, wearing also 
high-heeled boots) 

Mrs. Marr {to Mrs. Housman, whom she has overheard). No; 
not crazy, though it is original; and not so senseless as you seem 
to think. The girls have all these suits on hand already. To 



A Lady's Limitations 37 

wear them here costs nothing, saves their gowns; and then, be- 
sides, it makes them look so pretty. 

Exit — Right Second — Florence. 

Mrs. Housman {pointing to Mrs. Marr's suit). That, 1 suppose, 

is your gymnasium suit? 
Mrs. Marr. Not mine. I borrowed it for the occasion. I have 

another one for you. 
Mrs. Housman. For me? Would wear a thing like that, do you 

suppose ? 
Mrs. Marr. Why not? I think it would be quite becoming. 
Mrs. Housman. Well, I assure you, I care more just now for 

things that have been, than for things becoming. 
Mrs. Marr. But, really, you would look quite well in it. 
Mrs. Housman. Look like a fool ! 
Mrs. Marr. You mean that I look so? 
Mrs. Housman {laughing heartily). Excuse me — did not say it, 

did I? Think of starting out at our age and our station, in 

presence of an actual danger, too — yourself and I — to play at 

soldiering, just for the looks of it! 
Mrs. Marr. Is all you know! Why is it that militiamen enlist? 
Mrs. Housman {laughing). To wear their uniforms? 
Mrs. Marr. Just for the looks! 
Mrs. Housman. They fight for that? 
Mrs. Marr. Fight well, because of it. It makes them formidable. 

Dressed alike, they look like one big creature ; if they wore 

no uniforms would look like many small ones. 
Mrs. Housman. Ah, that is what explains this reinforcement by 

girls in blue ! Yet it appears to me a little inconsistent, with your 

views, to imitate the men in everything — in even clothing, too — 

you seem to pay them the greatest compliment conceivable. 
Mrs. Marr. Mere clothes are nothing. 
Mrs. Housman. Your plan hides the woman behind the man, 

as if for her protection. 
Mrs. Housman. Oh, when it comes to brute force! 
Mrs. Housman. When it come to any traits of body, under them 

one usually surmises deeper traits. 
Mrs. Marr. And so you see in men? 

Mrs. Housman. ^ Not brute force merely, but brain force, too. 
Mrs. Marr. It is not always shown. 
Mrs. Housman. Not always found by those whose natures look 

for brute force only. When our men are gentle — say like my 

self-controlled and thoughtful brother — we women ought to thank 

then, and not act like curs that merelv cringe to lick the hand 

of cruelty. 
Mrs. M.\rr. What should we cringe to lick? 



38 A Lady's Limitations 

Mrs, Housman. Lick nothing. We should stand our ground like 
queens; and let our men like knights do battle for us. A woman 
never is as much a woman as when she feels that man is her 
protector; nor man as much a man as when he feels the same. 
The law works perfectly for both, 

Mrs. Marr. If all folks were like you, the world would show no 
progress. 

Mrs. Housman. If like you, it might cut loose from all it might 
have learned, and show no wisdom. 

Enter — Right Second — Mr. Mark. 

Mr. Marr {to Mrs. Marr). Well, well, you are a sight! But why 

wear heels like those? You turn your insteps into heels an 

hour or two on broken ground like this; you will be lame for 

months. 
Mrs. Marr {to Mrs. Housman). Just think of that! And this 

man has been married twenty years! 
Mr. Marr {to Mrs. Marr). Yes, yes, but then when women have 

their rights I really thought you might have changed, you know. 

Why not be comfortable, and be safe? 
Mrs. Marr. Oh, yes; and if I wore a different shoe from other 

women, you would be the first to blame me for it. Yes, you 

know you would. 
Mr. Marr. Can it be true, my dear, that you have sent the captain 

to the capitol? 
Mrs. Marr. I have. It was important that the Governor should 

learn about the situation. 
Mr. Marr. But you might have sent some other messenger. Now 

I— 
Mrs. Marr. You think that I would do that? What? Would 

practice nepotism? — send a member of my own family? 
Mr. Marr. Oh, but, you know, the circumstances — no great honor 

in it ! To bear a message is no work requiring unusual ability. 
Mrs. Marr. I know — and not beyond what you could do, perhaps. 

But I had reasons of my own for wishing the Captain should 

be absent. 
Mr. Marr. So I feared. 

Mrs. Marr. You feared, of course ! Why say it ? 
Mr. Marr. And why not? 
Mrs. Marr. Why not say water leaves a leaking tub? Are some 

things in the world we take for granted. 
Mr. Marr. If anything should happen while the Captain is gone. 

you might regret what you have done. 
Mrs. Marr. Then let me tell you now that many things are going 

to happen. He has let the strikers hold meetings and insult 

authority; and here, inside this lax and lazy camp, let loose a 

general disregard of right. 



A Ladys Limitations 39 

Mr. Mark. I think that you mistake him. 

Mrs. Marr. Ah, indeed ! How valuable your testimony is ! Was 

it for this that he accepted bail when you were caught just now 

in criminal action? 
Mr. Marr. You really think me then a criminal because I helped 

those men to move a keg, and their own property, as I supposed? 

Why should I not? 
Mrs. Marr. Of course. Why should you not? They wanted some 

one to be made a fool of, and evidently knew the one to use. 
Mrs. Housman. There is a question who was made a fool of 

(Mrs. Marr straightens up.) Beg pardon— did not mean to let 

the thought escape me. 
Mrs. Marr. You are quite extravagant— have not so many thoughts 

you can afford to let them loose! Times come when we all 

need them. {Enter— Right ^'^cowrf— Florence.) Well, Florence, 

did they bring the tea urns? 
Florence. Yes. 

Mr. Marr. And what are they for? 
Mrs. Marr. For the men. 
Mrs. Housman. The men? Do they want tea? 

Exit— Right 5'^coMC?— Florence. 

Mrs. Marr. They need it. They are thirsty. The day is hot. Why 

should they not be thirsty? 
Mr. Marr. They wanted beer. 
Mrs. Marr.. I want to let you know that, after this, they must 

drink tea, not beer. 
Mrs. Housman. Some say that you can drive a horse to water, 

but never make him drink. The same with men. 
Mrs. Marr. But you suggested it? 
Mrs. Housman. What? I? 
Mrs. Marr. Yes, you. 
Mrs. Housman. I spoke of tea and lemonade, but not of taking 

other things away by force, and forcing these on those who 

might not wish them. I spoke of what might influence their 

own wishes. 
Mr. Marr. Most men out west here merely loathe a drink like 

tea— would rather take down paregoric. 
Mrs. Marr. A few, perhaps, may not be partial to it, but even they 

will like it, as we serve it. The ladies will be here. 
Mr. Marr. Oh, yes, the ladies— at this hour, when you know there 

is a law forbidding that ! 
Mrs. Marr. And you fail to know that there can be a mayor — 

martial law?— and just at present an emergency? 
Mr. Marr. Then why not let the soldiers have their beer inside 

the park here? Put off your reform till other matters — more 

important now — have been adjusted. 



40 A Lady's Limitations 

Mrs. Mark. More important, eh? 

Mr. Marr. What if the strikers made a move tonight? You 

ladies would be in the way — what then? 
Mrs. Marr. You think they never could keep up with you, while 

you were getting out the way? 
Mr. Marr. I think they might blame you, because you got them 

in it. Come, come, now! Why not leave the ladies out? 
Mrs. Marr. Why not?— just like a man! Why not have beer and 

let them all get drunk? — and if you start a great reform, and 

have an evening tea, why not leave out the interesting feature — 

the thing to make the enterprise attractive? Who go to teas, 

except to see the ladies? 
Mr. Marr. You think that men in camp life, at their ease, and, tired 

by drill, will care about that feature? 
Mrs. Marr. I think I know what human nature is. All men are 

not like you. 
Mr. Marr. Humph, some are married (to Mrs. Housman). 

How does the plan strike you? 
Mrs. Housman. Depends upon the kind of men. 
Mrs. Marr. The men are of all sorts. 
Mr. Marr. The question is, will all be out of sorts before we 

finish with them here? 
Mrs. Marr. Oh my! 
Mr. Marr. In view of taking evening tea with ladies, a few will 

dress before they come. Before they get here, these will think 

the thing a nuisance. The rest will not dress. These will think 

the same immediately after their arrival. 
Mrs. Mark. We all know there is nothing in the world in which 

a mind like yours can see no faults. 
Mr. Marr. Now, really, all I want to do is this, — to save you, as 

my wife, from having trouble. 
Mrs. Marr. Professor Allick knows as much of men as you do. 
Mrs. Housman. More of certain women. 
Mrs. Marr. Ah? — In all reforms, a man like that will stand behind 

one, and be firm as is a rock; and when one wants advice, know 

how to give it. 
Mrs. Housman. Some people ask advice like lads when shouting 

to get an echo ; and a rock will give it. 
Mrs. Marr. I like a man who has some firmness in him; and 

mind enough to understand my own. 

Exit— Right Second— M-RS. Marr. 

Mrs. Housman (looking after her. and addressing Mr, Marr). 
Not mind ! — it takes a certain kind of nerve to always squeal 
when some one else is pinched, as he does, every time she gets 
in trouble. It is hard to keep one's bile from boiling over to 
hear a man's wife talk to him like that. 



A Lady's Limitations 41 

Mr. Mark. She seems a little frank. 

Mrs. Housman. A little, yes! When young, you used to have a 
little temper. Why not assert yourself with her today? 

Mr. Marr. You ask her, she will tell you that I dare not. 

Mrs. Housman. But that would not be true. 

Mr. Marr. I think it would, although my reasons for it might 
not be what she would think, or understand, if told. 

Mrs. Housman. And what are they? 

Mr. Marr. What she might do in case I angered her :— the accom- 
paniments of divorce — for Florence and the whole community. 
A man should suffer rather than relieve a sore, if doing it, rnight 
spread contagion. Besides, it was not she proposed our marriage; 
but I myself; and every man should bear the burden of his own 
mistakes. 

Mrs. Housman. I think you are a saint. 

Mr. Marr. Oh, no,— a sinner! 

Mrs. Housman. A saint, my brother; for you know a saint is 
one who realizes, and accepts the fact, with all the penalties it 
brings, that he was once, and still might be, a sinner. 

Enter — Left Upper — Stirling {in the uniform of a Lieutenant). 

Stirling {to Mrs. Housman). Excuse me, Mrs. Housman; are 
you thinking of staying in the camp this evening? 

Mrs. Housman. I think so. Yes. Why not? 

Stirling. And Florence, too? 

Mrs. Housman. Yes, Florence, certainly. It seems her mother 
has made arrangements for an entertainment. The girls are to 
assist her. 

Stirling. I had heard so; and is there no way of preventing it? 

Mr. Marr. No; none that I know. 

(Stirling looks at Mrs. Housman.) 

Mrs. Housman. Do not look at me. I have no influence. 

Stirling. I wish you had. 

Mrs. Housman. You should give Mrs. Marr some credit, though, 
if not for all her methods, for her motives. 

Stirling. If men were manikins they might be moved by motives 
not translated into thought. But men have minds, and so they 
often get what guides more wisely from a knave who thinks than 
from a saint contented with his motives. 

Mrs. Housman. You see the trouble here. I recognize it. It may 
afford, though, interesting studies in sociology. 

Stirling. In physics also, when some of us get smashed. A bob- 
sled party when sliding down an icy hill behind a risky stesrer, 
all run equal risks. 

Mrs. Housman. There is no actual, present danger, is there? 



42 A Lady's Limitations 

Stirling. You think not, when the strikers have been ordered 
to yield their legal right of holding meetings? You think not, 
when our soldiers have been ordered to give up what they deem 
their social rights? You think not, when our men must meet 
these women dressed like themselves, and swilling then- with 
tea? You think they will respect authority at play in such a 
farce as this? You know how boys treat girls that masquerade 
in pants. And many here are scarcely more than boys. Our 
men are mutinous. The only one who really can control them is 
the captain. He has been sent away; and I, a private an hour 
ago, have just been made Lieutenant. What do you think that I 
can do with them? 

Mr. Marr. Is turning out exactly as I said. 

Stirling. I beg your pardon, merely saying this is not sutlcient 
in the present case. 

Mr. Marr. But what else can I do? — have talked to her — as well 
to talk in Dutch, or to an idiot. 

Stirling. I know ; and you are helpless. So am I. Yet I must 
keep my influence with my men. But how ? — None can command 
respect from those with whom they do not show some sympathy. 

Mr. Marr. You mean in being disloyal to officials? 

Stirling. In states that free men govern, loyalty may prompt a 
man, at times, to serve the people and not the personality of one 
disloyal to the people, although their ruler. 

Mrs. Housman. But if that personality be mother of one you 
love — 

Stirling. No matter who she is. 

Mrs. Housman (fo Mr. Marr). I think that he is right. 

Mr. Marr. I fear he may be. 

Mrs. Housman {to Stirling as she gestures toward Mr. Marr). 
This, for the conflict that concerns you most, is winning half the 
battle. 

Stirling Not what some might term the better half of it, I fear. 

Mrs. Housman {to Mr. Marr, and looking toivard the right). I 
think your wife is beckoning to us. 

Exit — Right Second — Mrs. Housman and Mr. Marr. 

Enter — Right Upper — Florence. {She carries in her hand a cake 
basket with cake in it.) 

Stirling. Oh, Florence, you! — Have you begun your party? Sup- 
pose you set your basket down a minute {gesturing toward the 
table). I want to talk to you. 

Florence. I have no time. 

Stirling. Oh yes, you have! The men are not here yet {taking 
the basket and placing it on the table). The cake will keep- 
will not lose any sweetness — not more than you will — by its 
waiting here. 



A Lady's Limitations 43 

Florence (sitting down with him.) And would lose it, should I 
go away ? 

Stirling. I fear so. Yes. 

Florence. You are a jealous man. 

Stirling. Yes, jealous of your reputation, Florence. Why should 
you go about, and dish out tea to men who will not want it? 

Florence. Will not want it? — But mama says they all are very 
thirsty. 

Stirling. But not for tea. 

Florence. Yet tea will do them good. 

Stirling. A boy in fever may be thirsty, too; and dosing medicine 
may do him good. And yet he may not like it. 

Florence. But they ought to like it. 

Stirling. You think so, do you? — Well, perhaps. Why force it 
on them, though? You force the boy, and he will use his fists. 
The men might do it. 

Florence. With ladies? 

Stirling. When mosquitoes buzz around, the men they sting hit 
anything in reach. The truth is that your method is at fault. 
You try to force men's actions, and expect the sort of treatment 
due to gentleness. 'Tis dangerous to use a whip with one hand, 
and yet to try caressing with the other. I do wish, Florence, you 
could find an errand to take you home before it grows too dark. 
I look for trouble here tonight. 

Florence. From what? 

Stirling. From everything — the absence of the Captain, the insub- 
ordination of the men, the presence of you women, and the 
knowledge the strikers will be sure to have of it. They want to 
fire the mine. Suppose they try it while you are here, and 
need protection from us. I do wish one could get you all away, 
especially yourself. I should feel freer to act for others. 

Florence. The Professor says — 

Stirling. No matter what he says ! — the sort of man that always 
plays the walking shadow to some woman; and all he seems to 
do is done by her ! 

Florence. But others think as much of him as mama. 

Stirling. Some women like a man that truckles to them, — a beau 
that bends the way that he is pulled. But in a modern camp the 
thing most needed is not a bow, I think, but bayonet. 

Florence. Yet you would not deny his learning, would you? 

Stirling. Some men who always keep their minds on books see 
only what their writers have described; or when they think, think 
like hypnotic subjects whose ravished eyes yield sight to breed 
suggestion. Come, promise me that you will leave here, Florence. 

Florence. If I could find a reason— 

Stirling. Find your aunt, and make her lose the sugar for the 
tea. or milk, or something. You two go to fetch it; and once 



44 A Lady's Limitations 

away, in heaven's name, stay away {handing her the plate of 
cake). Here come the men. Perhaps you ought to leave me. 

Exit — Right Second — Florence. 

Enter— Left Upper — Sergeant. 

Sergeant (to Stirling). Must we put on dress uniforms tonight? 

Stirling. No must about it. There have been no orders. 

Sergeant. Unless we do, the women may not like it. 

Stirling. Quite likely; yes. 

Sergeant. You scarcely seem to care. 

Stirling. Why should I? It is not my business. 

Sergeant. Must all of us drink tea? 

Stirling. Why, will it hurt you? 

Sergeant. It will — will keep me wide awake all night. 

Stirling. If so, you should refuse it. 

Sergeant. Can we do it; and not make them believe themselves 
insulted? Or else suspicious of us? — of our thirst for something 
stronger ? 

Stirling. All of these are questions that you must settle for your- 
selves, not I. 

Sergeant. I beg your pardon. Are we misinformed? The men 
all think the captain ordered ofif because of your commission as 
Lieutenant. They say the Mayor wanted some one here to carry 
out her wishes. 

Stirling. Why should they suppose that I would do what he would 
not? 

Sergeant. They speak of family reasons. 

Stirling. Do they? Where could they have heard of them? 

Sergeant. I think the Mayor has made no secret of them. 

Stirling. See here, Sergeant, some men among you know me. 
Those who do should back me up now, — not for my sake only 
but for the property that we are guarding (writing a telegram 
on a paper that he takes from his pocket; and shows the writing 
to the Sergeant). Shall send this telegram — will reach the Cap- 
tain before his train leaves; and will call him back. 

Sergeant (taking the telegram, looking at it, and then returning it 
to Stirling). You dare do that without the Mayor's ordets? 

Stirling. The Mayor's or the devil's. 

Sergeant. The devil himself could never get the better of a man 
who sacrifices what he knows to be his own good, — love, too — 
for the sake of others. 

Exit — Right .Second — Stirling. 

Exit — Left Second — Sergeant. 

Enter — Right Upper— Mi^s. Marr and the Professor. 



A Lady's Limitations 45 

Pkofkssor {to Mrs. Marr). Ah, Mrs. Marr, such, such a bright 
idea ! You have a perfect genius, yes, you have, for solving prob- 
lems of a social nature. Who would have thought of this except 
yourself? 

Mrs. Marr. I think it must be a success. 

Professor. It must be. 

Enter — Right Second — Florence with a cake basket; also Other 
Young Lady in a gymnasium suit, carrying a tray holding cups 
containing tea. 

Enter — Left Upper — Sergeant and the Corporal. 

Mrs. Marr {to Florence and the Young Lady). Now, ladies, 

bring the tea. Here come some soldiers. 
Professor {aside to Mrs. Marr and looking toward the Sergeant 

and Corporal). Wait, wait. They are the very men, I think, 

that took you to the guard-house. 
Mrs. Marr. Too late now to turn away from them! See me con- 
vert them. {To the Sergeant and Corporal, as she gestures 

toward the table and the tea and cake). Sit down here, please. 
Sergeant {in a surly zvay). I thank, you; but I seldom take tea 

at this hour. 
Mrs. Marr. Oh, you must, tonight !— A little, just a little— Oh, for 

my sake ! 
Professor — For our sakes. 
Sergeant {to Professor). Yours? — I might, though, for the 

lady's. {He sits at the table and the Young Lady places on 

it two cups of tea.) 
Mrs. Marr. I thought you would {to the Corporal, as she moves 

the tea toward a vacant chair.) And you, too? — Yes, I thought so. 

Exit — Right Second — the Professor. 
{The Corporal sits in the vacant chair.) 

(Mrs. Marr takes the basket of cake from Florence and passes it.) 

And cake? You will not take the cake? 
Sergeant {refusing). I thank you. 
Mrs. Marr. What?— Not take cake?— and cake I made myself?— 

Oh, you will reconsider, I am sure ! 
Corporal {to Sergeant). If you will take it, I will take it. Josh. 
Sergeant. All right — is nothing like companionship in danger. 
Mrs. Marr. Danger? 
Sergeant. Nothing but a joke. 

Exeunt — Right Second — Florence and the Young Lady, carrying 
the tea cups. 

(Mrs. Marr moves toward the right.) 



46 A Lady's Limitations 

Corporal {aside to the Sergeant). A very heavy joke! 
Sergeant. Yes, very heavy for me to swallow! How is it with 

you? 
Corporal. Will tell you in an hour or two. 
Sergeant. Unless has weighed you down too much to throw it 



up 



Enter — Right Upper — Young Lady in gymnasium suit, carrying a 
tray containing candy. 

Mrs. Marr (joining the Young Lady, and going with her toward 
the Sergeant and Corporal). Here, take some candy. 

Sergeant {in a surly way). Please excuse me, madam, I never 
eat it. 

Mrs. Marr. No.? 

Corporal {as it is offered to him, also in a surly way). Nor I; I 
thank you. 

Mrs. Marr. But this is not mere ordinary candy {motioning with 
her hand toward the Young Lady). Is candy that she made and 
pulled herself. 

Corporal {to the Sergeant with a sly smile). She pulled herself 
to make it ! Must be sweet ! 

Mrs. Marr. Spent all day yesterday in making it. Just take a 
little. I should never think that you could be so ungallant as 
that! — not care enough for her to care about what she has 
taken so much pains to do? (Mrs. Marr and the Young Lady 
exchange glances with each other for a moment.) 

Corporal {rubbing his stomach, and speaking to the Sergeant who 
alone sees him). If she has taken pains, then you and I must do 
it. {Continuing, in a sarcastic tone, to Mrs. Marr as she turns 
to them again) We could not show such lack of sympathy or 
courtesy. 

Mrs. Marr {passing the candy to them, which they take). Yes; 
I thought you would ! 

Enter — Right Second — Florence with cake and Young Lady with 
tea. {They approach Mrs. Marr zvho continues). And take 
another cup of tea — say yes ! Or you may make us think you 
fail to like it! {They evidently consent. She gives them another 
cup apiece.) And cake — my own, you know — will never do to let 
the others here suppose that men — men of such influence as you 
have — you do not appreciate how good it is! {They take the cake.) 
Aha ! I thought so ! I made no mistake. I thought one only 
needed to appeal to public spirit in you. {Taking the tray con- 
taining candy from the Young Lady holding it). Take more 
candy? If you keep on we shall reform you men. (Mrs. Marr, 
Florence and the Young Ladies move toward the Right En- 
trance.) 



A Lady's Limitations 47 

Sergkant (/o Corporal as he throivs most of the candy and cake 
under the table). Yes, hurry up, one more reincarnation. 

Corporal (also throzving away some of his candy and cake). 
Reform ! Well chosen word ! If one would get new 
forms inside these molds of clay we live in, how do it better 
than by pouring down the heaviest moulten stuffing that one 
knows of? 

Exeunt — Right Second — Florence and the Young Ladies. 

Enter — Right Second — Professor. 

Mrs. Marr (to Professor). A great success! The very greatest, 
yes! You ought to see how much they all enjoy it! And all 
our doing, too ! You know, at first, they seemed a little offish — 
would not take it. We simply had to force it on them. Well, 
all men are babies of a larger growth ; and take our good things 
as these do a bath. They shrink from it, at first, but forced to 
it, they feel so good they know how good are we who give it 
to them. 

Professor. Yes, indeed ! Yes ! Yes ! 

Exeunt — Right Second — Mrs. Marr and the Professor. 

Enter — Left Upper — Charlie. (He advances cautiously behind the 

Left Tent and taps, from behind, the Corporal's shoulder.) 

Charlie. Say, Bill, see here. 

Corporal. What is it? 

Charlie (holding up a bottle). This! 

Corporal (rising and drinking from the bottle). Salvation! (He 
drinks and rubs his stomach). Some chance now of a vital heat 
within to melt the stuffing here, and send it through one ! 

Sfrgeant (rising from his seat and speaking to the Corporal.) 
Give me some, Bill. You know that pesky tea sets all my nerves 
to rippling, so the brain keeps dancing like a sunbeam on a 
river; and this will pour a sedative of oil upon the troubled 
waters. 

Enter— Right Upper — Stirling and Mrs. Housman. (While ap- 
proaching the table, they hear the following conversation.) 

Sergeant (taking the bottle and drinking, then handing it to 
Charlie). Thank you, Charlie. Good heavens! — is hotter than 
a dose of mustard! No bitters here, my boy! You gave me 
blisters. 

Charlie. No man can smuggle spirits in a keg. The little of it 
traveling in a bottle must go a long way. So it must be strong. 

Sergeant. Am not afraid of strength, but when what greets you 



48 A Lady's Limitations 

is low and mean, as well as strong, look out ! This holds a hell- 
hot fuse of fusile oil ! — Sheer unadulterated alcohol ! Rank 
poison, Charlie. (Stirling and Mrs. Housman are evidently 
heard approaching.) 

Exeunt — Left Upper — Charlie and the Corporal. 

Mrs. Housman {looking and laughing at the Sergeant, who has 
been too slow to escape). No; not the mayor! But one with very 
little sense could know what you had sampled! 

Sergeant. Yes, and foul enough to scent a mile away ! I had 
to rinse my mouth out, after swilling down their tea. Confound 
it all — an awful disappointment! Impossible to stomach it! 

Mrs. Housman. You think the younger men will show as much 
good taste? 

Stirling. With them, I mainly fear the humor of it. The incon- 
gruity of banishing the beer to give home welcome to the whiskey ! 

Sergeant {laughing). Exactly what I thought of — of the fun of 
cheating the old woman. {To Mrs. Housman). Beg your par- 
don. 

Mrs. Housman {to Stirling). The men will deem it a good joke, 
you think, and make it practical? 

Stirling. I fear so ; more than they intend ! In balancing between 
the wise and unwise, fun, at times, is risky. If by a jot the joker 
lose his wit, he plunges into folly. 

Sergeant. You are right. I thank you, lady, for reminding me. I 
set a bad example. Sorry for it. I should have seized the stuff, 
not swallowed it. 

Stirling. Is more of it in camp? 

Sergeant {ironically). Is more? 

Stirling. Some too — and most of these not used to drinking 
either, will swig of it as freely as of beer. Take one or two men 
with you, and go through the tents and gather in the bottles. 
Pay for them if needed. Do it all, of course, as quietly as pos- 
sible. Is better the men should not find out just who has got 
them. 

Sergeant {saluting). Will see your order carried out. Lieutenant. 

Exit — Left Second — Sergeant. 

Stirling {to Mrs. Housman). So far as he succeeds, the mayor 
has done far less with all her acting like a lord than you have 
done by acting like a lady. 

Exeunt — Right Second — Mrs. Housman and Stirli^jg. 

Enter — Right Upper — Two Ladies with tea and cake. 

Enter— Left Upper — Dick. 



A Lady's Limitations 49 

Dick (evidently drunk, to the Ladies). Hello, my dears, you have 
enlisted, have you? I always did believe a regiment should have 
a daughter — no, should have a wife. Oh, say, that would be work 
for you, not so? As big a work for you as fun for us — to be 
the wife of one whole regiment? (Young Ladies run toward 
the Right Seeond Entrance). 

Enter Right Second Entrance — Mrs. Marr and the Professor. 

Young Lady {to Mrs. Marr). Oh, my, there is a drunken man 

there. 
Mrs. Marr. Drunken? That cannot be. The beer was all sent 

off. {To Professor). You saw it sent, not so? 
Ppofessor. Was all sent off. 

Mrs. Marr. No man gets drunk on nothing — does he? does he? 
Professor. I hardly think so. 
Young Lady. You come look at him, and see how red he is, and 

how he staggers ! 
Other Lady. His words, too, stagger, and they smell so horrid. 

Exeunt — Right Second — the two Young Ladies. 

Mrs. Marr {advancing and speaking to Dick). And who are you? 

Dick. Why, just a pal of yours. 

Mrs. Marr. What are you taking me for? 

Dick. "Taking," eh? So T am, "taking," am I? 

Mrs. Marr. Do you know whom you are talking to? 

Dick. I guess I do. You are the mother of the regiment. Not 

like it ? Humph ! Will go you, then, one better — the great-grand- 
mother of the regiment. 
Mrs. Marr. How impudent ! 
Professor. Insufferable ! Yes. 
Mrs. Marr. Where did you get your liquor? 
Dick. Will keep mum? {Pointing toward the rear of the tent at 

the Left). You go behind the tent, and whistle this way {makes 

a peculiar zvhistle). 
Mrs. Marr {to the Professor). You go behind the tent and 

whistle that way, we must discover who the venders are and 

punish them. 
(Professor goes behind the tent, at the left, and whistles. Dick 

leans against the table laughing and watching.) 

Enter — Left Upper — Corporal and a Private. 

Corporal {to Professor). You are arrested, sir. 

Professor. Why, why, but I — 

Corporal. That signal is a call to what is wrong inside the camp. 
You gave it; and 5'ou were looking round and listening to have 
it answered. {To Private.) Take him to the guard house. 



50 A Lady's Limitations 

Proffessor. But — Mrs. Marr ! oh, Mrs. Marr! Come here! 

They have arrested me. 
Mrs. Marr (to Corporal). Release that man. 
Corporal. Beg pardon. I am carrying out my orders. 
Mrs. Marr. But I am Mayor. 
Corporal Any other orders must reach me through the proper 

officers. 
Mrs. Marr (to the Professor). See how they act together, all of 

them, and block our efforts to find out the truth. 

Enter— Left Upper — Stirling. 

(Mrs. Marr continues to him). Lieutenant? 

Stirling. Madam, I am at your service. 

Mrs. Marr. This man arrested the Professor. 

Stirling. So? (To Corporal). And what was that for? 

Corporal. Why he used the signal that we have found men giving 
for the whiskey. 

Mrs. Marr (motioning toward Dick). He got it from this drunk- 
ard, staggering here, and used it to find out who sold the stuff. 

Stirling. A somewhat dangerous thing to do in camp ! — to imitate 
those breaking regulations! 

Mrs. Marr. But I — I ordered it. 

Stirling. You thought that right? 

Mrs. Marr. I did. And you? 

Stirling. Humph! When we deal with others whose judgment 
we must influence, what is right depends much less on what 
seems right to us, than what seems right to them. 

Mrs. Marr (pointing to Corporal). You think it right that he 
should disregard my testimony; and, when he knew that I 
was mayor, lock this man up, notwithstanding my protesting? 

Stirling, (to Corporal). This lady, Corporal, as you know, is 
mayor. Regard her wishes, when it can be done. The circum- 
stances are exceptional. Release this man that you have just 
arrested. (Aside to Corporal.) We never hold a child respon- 
sible for laughing out when tickled ; nor a fool for falling when 
some other fool has tripped him. 

Mrs. Marr (to Stirling, wh'om she apparently has overheard). 
What do you mean? 

Stirling. To tell the truth. 

The Corporal releases the Professor and with the Private arrests 
Dick,, to whom Stirling points. 

Exeunt — Left Upper — Corporal, Private and Dick. 

Mrs. Marr (to Stirling). You act with altogether too much sym- 
pathy for those you deal with, and who would deceive you. 



A Lady's Limitations 51 

Stirling. A man must keep the sympathy of those whom he 

expects to risk their lives for him the next time he wants help. 
Mrs. Marr. I want you now to find out those who sold the liquor 

here. 
Stirling. I just have given orders to search round and gather 

in the bottles. 
Mrs. Marr. And to punish those having them? 
Stirling. We punish to prevent. If one can do it, it is more direct 

to do preventing first. 
Mrs. Marr. And let the guilty escape? 
Stirling. Why not? If while they do they learn the uselessness of 

of guilt, and so forsake it? 
Mrs. Marr. That does not give the guilty their deserts. 
Stirling. Not punishment that often merely shifts one's load of 

guilt on shoulders of another; not that, perhaps; and yet it may 

give justice — the only justice due from man to man. The aim 

of justice is to make men better. 
Mrs. Marr {to the Professor). It seems to me the same old 

subterfuge. 
Stirling. Then put it this way : We need every man to watch the 

strikers. Would it not be wise to let him wait, and waive his 

punishment 'till he alone will suffer, not ourselves? 
Mrs. Mark. You all seem leagued together to do wrong. It is 

my duty to enforce the law. The culprits must be found. 
Stirling. Is difficult. The surest witnesses that we can summon 

are drunk and unaccountable. The rest will never volunteer their 

testimony. 
Mrs. Marr. And that is all you know? Humph, I can get it, and 

get it right away. 
Stirling. You think you can? 

Mrs. Marr. I can. Call all the men in hearing distance. 
Stirling. If you desire it, there is no objection. {He beckons to- 
ward the Left) Here, Corporal, tell your guard to fall in line. 

Enter— Left Upper— the Corporal and a guard of militiamen. They 
aie ill and line up at the left of the stage. 

Stirling {to the militiamen). The mayor has found a drunken 
man in camp. She has instructed me to order you to tell who 
brought and sold the liquor to him. 

Mrs. Marr {to Stirling). We will begin with you. 

Stirling. I never drink. Why think that I should come in con- 
tact with it? 

Mrs. Marr {to first militiaman in line). And you? 

Miliatiaman. Don't know. 

{She points to each in the line, qnd they anszver.) 

Othf.r Militiaman. Nor I. "^ 



52 A Lady's Limitations 

Other Militiaman. Nor I. 
Other Militiaman. Nor I. 
Mrs. Marr. Aha! I thought a soldier brave enough to tell the 

truth ! Yet here, away off here, I smell the liquor on you now. 
Stirling. It may be, madam, that some could drink, and yet not 

know who brought it. 
Mrs. Marr. Then we shall trace it back to those who do know. 
One of the Militiamen {in a loud half zvhisper). She's coming 

at us, boys, breathe in, not out. 
Mrs. Marr (going to each in succession and smelling their breaths). 

You do not know? 
Militiamen (in succession, very apparently breathing in). No, no; 

no; no; no; no; no. 
Mrs. Marr (to Stirling). Why, that seems very strange! What 

can it mean? I smell the liquor clearly at this distance, but not 

when I get near them. 
Corporal. Why, you know there was a drunkard hereabouts just 

now, and he — he might have been so loaded up that, when he 

staggered, why, he tipped enough to spill enough to make the 

whole air smell ! 
Mrs. Marr (sarcastically). You think that you are witty! 
Corporal. Only logical ! They say you told them, in your last 

campaign, the influence of a single glass of liquor upon the at- 
mosphere of towns like this would furnish, like a homeopathic 

dose, enough to make the whole blamed place a stench in the 

nostrils of the whole wide world. 
Mrs. Marr. And that is true in more than one sense. 
Corporal. Yes, of course, is true in your sense, and is true in my 

sense. 
Professor (to Mrs. Marr). True in a great sense, yes, and in a 

little. 
Corporal. Oh, what a blessing are our little insects that with their 

little minds can always make such little nice discriminations for 

us! 
Stirling (rather sharply, to Corporal). We shall not need your 

men here, further. Corporal. 
(Corporal salutes and marches his men to the left.) 

Exeunt — Left Second — Corporal and Guard. 

Enter — Right Upper — Several Young Ladies in gymnastic suits. 

Enter — Left Upper — Sergeant. 

Sergeant (saluting Stirling). Lieutenant, the strikers are upon 

the move. 
Stirling. Are coming this way? 
Sergeant. Yes. 



A Lady's Limitations 53 

{The Professor stands near, and evidently overhears. Without 
speaking to anyone, he stealthily goes to the right and, presently 
Exit— Right Upper— the Professor. 

Stirling. The first thing, then, is keeping down all sounds of 
preparation. No bugle, drum, or loud word of command ! Stay 
here— will send you men. You form in line. The rest will follow 
me and, at the cross-road will flank and draw them that way 
When you hear us, you let us hear from you. Till then keep 
quiet. {To the Ladies.) Excuse me, ladies, I am called away. 

Exit — Left Second — Stirling. 

One Lady. What is it. Sergeant? {To the Other Ladies). What 
is It, do you think? 

P/^^^^i^"^"^- ^ ^^'"^ ^ ^"°w- More men are getting drunk' 

Mrs. Marr. I think that I know, too. Look at his pockets." (Bot- 
ties are seen protruding from the Sergeant's coat-tail pockets ) 

Sergeant. Why really, madam, I had quite forgotten. You see 
Lieutenant Stirling ordered me to pick them up about the camp. 
(iA^ Sergeant takes the bottles from his pockets and places them 
behind the trees at the Left.) 

Mrs^ Marr. He did? And you have done it well-outside and in- 
side No use to he to me! I smell your breath. So you, you 
?r7minair^" ' whiskey? A sergeant, yes; and yet a 

Enter— Left Upper— Corporal and his Guard. 

Mrs. Marr (continues to the Corporal, Pointing tozvard the Ser- 
geant). Arrest him Corporal. You do not move? Lieutenant 
Mining just now said to you you must regard mv orders. I am 
mayor. Arrest him— quick ! 

(Corporal moves, as if to carry out the order.) 

Sergeant. No no; must not be done. Too much depends upon 
me Corporal, halt! {Pulling out a pistol) Let one of yoC 
tfu rr fn ^'^'' °" T' ^"^i^hall shoot, and I shall shoot to 
t ■ ^^Ladies .ycj-.am.) Good God ! Be silent, ladies. Let me 
tell you the strikers are close by. We need to keep as quTe? 
as we can, and head them off ^ 

One^Lady. Not head them off, here, here-where we are with 

Other Lady No, no; should send us home first 
Go'home! ^° ^''"'' ' ^''" ^""'^'"'^ '^^' ^'"P ^"^^t' though! 

^W^ hVv7 no^e"scorts. ''"" '^""'^^'^ ^^^^'^"^^ ^^"^ ^^^ --P? 
Sergeant. But you came without them. 



54 A Lady's Limitations 

Mrs. Mark {pointing to the right). If they should come this way, 

when we went that waj^ — 
Sergeant. Will you keep quiet? 

Enter — Left Upper — Captain. 

Mrs. Marr {to the Ladies). Oh, what shall we do? 

Captain {to Mrs. Marr). Go home, where you belong. 

Mrs. Marr {becoming angry as she sees the Captain and address- 
ing him). I sent you off. 

Captain (/o^ Mrs. Marr). You sent me off. The strikers heard 
of it, and \hat explains the danger just outside. You took the 
beer away; and that explains the drunkenness and danger, inside 
here. You made a visit where none wanted you, now get one — 
humph ! — not wanted by yourselves ! 

Mrs. Marr. We might be killed! 

Captain. What of it? So might we! It would not be the first 
time men have paid in blood the price of an experiment in cour- 
tesy. No microbes undermine the mind like sentimental whims 
that, when they move inside our fancy, make us think them the 
promptings of some deep, wise inspiration. If you had known 
enough to keep the laws that separate you women from us men, 
when doing our own work, you might have saved yourselves and 
us. Now all seems lost. 

First Lady. Oh, oh, we must go home ! 

Second Lady. Go home ! 

Mrs. Marr. Go home ! 

Exeunt— Right Second— all the ladies. 
Enter— Left Second— Stirli-ng. 

Stirling {saluting Captain), Am glad to see you, Captain. Were 
too late to flank them. They had heard the women here. 

Captain. Must meet them on the high road, then, at once. You 
watch their movements — there inside the hammock. If they 
should turn off this way, fire two shots. 

(Stirling takes off his coat and throws it into the hammock.) 

£xit—Left Second — Captain and Sergeant. 

Enter — Right Upper — Mrs. Housman and Florence. (Florence 
has changed her gymnasium suit for a lady's walking suit.) 

Enter— Left Upper— Charlie and another Militiaman, both drunk. 

Other Militiaman {to Mrs. Housman, taking hold of her). Aha, 
you think that you can get away? 



A Lady's Limitations 55 

^vn,'!'''try".i'T';.T'' ^^^'"'^ ^'^^^ '^ ^'''^- You know that beer 
}OU try to bottle up grows very strong— strong, oh as 
whiskey, sometimes; and then, if you can't stand it, you lie down 
and then a fellow has a little rest! ^^wu, 

JA^a^^. Exeunt-Right Upper-DiCK and Charlie). 

Stirling (/o Mrs Housman and Florence). Oh, why did vou 
return? I hoped you wouldn't. ^ ^ " 

Mrs. Housman. Her mother made her promise. More than this 
we saw the strikers moving-came to tell you 

bTiRLiNG. We saw them too— our business to see them 

/.«A PI this place-our place-yes. (Po/;i^/«^ fo the left 

Zl\. ^^'l' ^'"^'il ^'''- ^'' ^°^" behind the trunks. There 
may be shooting. I have to watch awhile, inside the hammock 

Exeunt-inside the Left Tent-MRs. Housman and Florence. 
(STmLiNG lies down inside the hammock. A moment later a shot 
JZi ^f '"^ '^' 1?f- ^f /^'^ '''^' ^^' ^^^^' darkened, it is 
guisheZ ' ^ '"^' "'■' ^''" ^'^"'"""^^ '^''y ''' ^^^^■«- 

Enter-from the Left T^;/ /-Florence and Mrs. Housman. 
(Florence bends over the hammock ) 

'^hTt^JZ^t'-Jt:!'''' "'""""^* "•'' ''"'"'^ -■'"""*>■ Why, 
Florence. What fight over? 

Enter-Left U /> p er-C apt ain, Sergeant and Corporal. 

Enter-Right Upper-MRS. Marr. in a ladv's walking costume as 
m Acts I and II, the Professor and Mr. Marr. <^ostume, as 

^Xam ^rte^WnT'p/'" ^ '""^"^^^ ^^^'>- ^ "^"^^ have had a 
aream. 1 tell you, Florence, it was an awful dream— a n,-o-ht 

South^Tr' J'^ ^"" "°^ down?-not evenfng? Vhf l" 
M.c A^r ^^ ^i'^^^^^ '^ '^'^'' h"t no; it still is day. ^' 

Mrs. Marr^ And yet you look as if you thought it night 



end. 



juN a mc 



One copy del. to Cat. Div. 



